A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, ok sorry if this is long winded. I had a long distance relationship between the uk and us for 2 years. I split up with him a year n half ago because I found out he had cheated on me. I was heartbroken n although he bombarded me with emails, texts n calls apologising, I couldn't face him again so I didn't return back to the us to see him again. 6 months after our break and me ignoring him, apparently he spiralled out of control drinking n eventually got a girl pregnant. This tore me up but he said he wanted to try n make it work with the girl for the baby's sake. I hadn't spoke to him since Jan and tried my best to move on. But to this day I haven't gotten over him. This morning he called me saying how much he misses me, he said he lasted a few weeks with the girl and even tho she's had the baby, he just remains friends with her and has the baby every other day. He sounds so chuffed with his son, he talked for ages about how much he loves him n is so glad he can still see him. My question is do I work slowly with him to get our relationship back? I've had enough time to heal and forgive, but I just miss him. I know how hard it was long distance and so I'm not jumping back in to anything quickly, I was just thinking to fly over for a few days to see how I feel as I haven't seen him for nearly 2 years. I know people are going to tell me no and to not forgive him, but I believe he's had enough time to know what he wants.. As well as the new soft side I'm hearing from him talk about his son.
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cheated on me, heartbroken, long distance, move on, split up, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (1 October 2011):
 Looks like his "schtick" has sucked you in.... Go ahead, c'mon over to the Colonies and see him.... and give him yet another chance to play with your feelings.....
Good luck....
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (1 October 2011):
 He had plenty of time before cheating and spiraling out of control to know what he wanted. I don't think you should even speak to him again, let alone visit him.You already know how you feel. Seeing him isn't going to tell you anything you don't already know, but it will make it that much harder to do what you need to do. He may have some endearing qualities and he may be truly sorry, but he isn't ideal mate material. Besides, unless there are definite plans for one or both to relocate, a date set and plane ticket in hand there isn't much point in making any big commitments.Forgive him, by all means. He's as human as the next person and it would be good for your own soul, but do not take him back. You'd be doing not only you a favour, but the next woman he meets. If he thinks it's only a matter of time before a woman comes back to him he'll have no real incentive to change for the better.
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