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age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: Hi, so I got dumped last Sunday, in a text, without a reason why. Oddly enough I wasn't mad at the guy, because I just knew Friday and Saturday that it was coming, I wasn't angry, I was just hurt. He still refuses to talk to me, but a mutual friend told me, quote "There was just no connection, the relationship was just ending..." but to me he's said he's sorry he's made me so upset and that he still has feelings for me but thinks we should take a break and just be friends for awhile. Oddly enough, I'm not angry, just sort of hurt. I don't know why but I still really love him, and I don't think he knows how much I do love him, either that or he just fell out of love with me.I gave up my team for him so I could join something else with him, I learned ball room dancing to surprise him Valentine's day and I even bought him his Valentine's gift the day he broke up with me. Now I'm just sort of stuck, I had a terrible day Monday, a half good day Tuesday, a pretty bad day Wednesday and a great Thursday and an alright Friday but I'm not over him yet and I think I still love him.He says we shouldn't date now but that maybe we could later and I'm pretty sure that later is never going to come around, but I don't know he told me, quote, "I swear on whatever honor you think I have left."I still don't know exactly why he broke up with me but I've got a few theories.One is that when I told him I wasn't ready to move to fast and I really didn't appreciate him getting to grab-happy he backed off and started to get bored with me, because this is what he did, he started hugging me less and less, rarely put his arm around me and our conversation dwindled.Then there is the fact that my 'friends' repulse him, but I wouldn't call them friends more like girls who won't leave me alone and act all buddy-buddy around other people but just plain nasty when guys aren't around. None of my real friends go to our school but one of his friends told me one day, "You know he finds your best friend annoying, (referring to my actual best friend he'd met) and he thinks you're annoying too".Both of these theories make him a scumbag in my opinion but I do have one more, and that's that I clammed up. I never told him I have three best friends who are guys and who are just best friends because I was afraid, not of what he'd say about me having guy friends, but about our weird personalities. I never told him I'm the most accident prone person in the world, that some of my best friends are truly nutcases, that I'm friends with a comedian, a goofy goth, an otaku, a hippie, a Monty-python addict, or the fact that I'm addicted to writing, or manga or anime, there's just so many things I haven't said.So basically my question is what do I do now? Should I do anything now or just wait and see? Should I try to get over him? I don't know, I just know it hurts so bad to see him every single day and I can't avoid him, and I just want to yell at him, "Didn't you know how much I loved you?" (not to sound like Kelli Pickler or anything)I don't trust him now, I know I can get over him, it would just take time, but right now part of me still loves him and I'm wondering should I wait? Should I talk to him some more or should I just move on. I know I'm fourteen and as they say, "Love is as perennial as the grass" but I'm really head over heels for him, we would have been dating a full year on March 1st, and I also know they say you're true love will come along, but what happens if you just let your true love pass you by, and I'm just really confused and hurt right now. I'm somewhat ok when I don't think about him, but something always draws my mind back to him. Please advise. :/
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a break, best friend, broke up, goth, move on, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (23 January 2011):
 hi
you need to draw up a list of his good and bad points and then see if he is the kind of person that you WANT to wait for. from what you have said, he didn't know you that well, he doesn't know what you are into, he doesn't know about some of your interesting friends and he got bored because you told him you were not so pleased with him being 'grab-happy'
doesn't sound to me like you have a lot in common to be honest, so no, i wouldn't wait for him to decide he wants to pick you up again after dropping you like that (BY TEXT -AFTER NEARLY A YEAR) get on with your life and your hobbies and be happy :) you have got many more years and countless opportunities ahead of you to meet guys that will be more right for you
xx
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