A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a horrible pathetic person, I really am. I should really have asked this question a few months ago, before I got involved. So, I'm first of all going to ask a question as I would have a asked back then, and then I'm going to ask what to do now.Ok, for a few years, I've been madly in love with an older, married woman. But, I managed to keep my feelings under control. I think she knows I'm attracted to her on some level. Well she just said to me "you're gay, aren't you?" and I thought is this it? is something going to happen between us? and I said "yeah, I'm bi" and then she tells me that her daughter (my age) is gay! and she likes me! and then she gave me her number! I said I'd think about it. What do I do? Is this dangerous territory? but we're drifting apart, and I don't see her much anymore, if I date her daughter, I'll see her all the time. I don't want to lose my closeness with her mom, because we're like friends. I do like her daughter, and I COULD like her in that way. Or is it too dangerous because of my feelings towards her mom?I wish I would have just posted that back then! please answer that seperatly, as if I hadn't written what I'm about to write now.And I'm sure you can guess, what I decided to do in the end. yep, I'm now her daughter's girlfriend. I'm worse than scum. I'm still in love with the older woman. I really like her daughter, and I care about her, and don't want her to get hurt, and I quess she's quite hot, she is her mother's daughter after all. If I break up with her, I'll lose the respect of her and her mom, or I can carry on being her girlfriend, seeing her mom all the time, and still be like friends, but feel incredibly guilty, and like I'm using her, which I am a bit. It's hard because I find myself caught in the middle when they have a disagreement, I automatically want to take the mom's side because of the way I feel, and she's usually right, and my GF can be a tiny bit immature when it comes to arguing with her mom, but I have to remember, she's my GF, my loyalty should be to her, and my relationship with my own mother is a lot worse for many reasons, yet that's what I find myself telling her mom when my GF storms off. So what do I do now? Do I get out of this ASAP and lose the trust and respect of both of them, or do I carry on? what if it gets serious, and eventually the older woman becomes my mother in law?! her own marriage is a "stay married for the kids" kind of marriage if you know what I mean, btw.btw, when I say older I mean like she's late 40s and I'm 18. she's not like 70. But she looks like she's 30, and acts like it sometimes. :S
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male
reader, LonelyButNotAlone  +, writes (18 November 2008):
 I'd say get out now, before things go any further.
You're not in a relationship with this girl for the right reasons and your feelings for her mother probably won't change in any amount of time.
You'll probably lose their trust and respect, but that's an unfortunate consequence of the situation.
Also, you're not worse than scum. I think a lot of people would have done the same thing if they found themselves in such a position... put on the spot like that. Don't be so hard on yourself.
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