A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:After Dating three years and now married 1 yr and three months, I begin to wonder, did I make a mistake? In the last year I have caught him looking at pron twice now on his computer. He knows I hate it and it was something we talked about while dating on how a felt about it. Then he has stared drinking and liying about that too. It seems when I have to leave town for work in the morning and back that afternoon, he'll pick that very day to call on clients out of town and then comes home smelling of beer and denies he'd been drinking and turns around and yells at me and says I am ------- crazy. I know I am not loosing my mind. When we get together with his frinds, all they talk about is the old days when it was nothing but partying and strip joints right in front of me. I want to trust him and have faith in him, but just last night the lies and drinking happened all over again. We have been talking of having a house built and I don't know, but we had talked about it around 6 months agao and the same thing happened. Drinking and then lying about it. I am really tired of the drama and the roller coaster, I ask myself many times " do I really even have a future with this person or am I just wishfull thinking?Since we have gotten married I have put on some weight and he never is aroused by me and I catch him all the time leering at other women, I call him on it and once again he says I am crazy. I ask, do I end it now or is there even hope? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2010): I disagree with your husband's actions. In fact, his drinking sounds like the start or is currently alcoholism. You do not need to drink a large amount of booze for this to happen, its the frequency. Sounds like he goes out often. My ex GF was an alcoholic and his general behavior seem to factor into a possible, but not necessarily, chemical imbalance. Marriage counseling may be best here as there are def signs of trouble.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (18 September 2010):
 The first year is the hardest, because your just trying to get into the swing of things. Every woman even the man gain the marriage weight, it's just from being comfortable with who your settling with. Try going on evening walks together even take the family dog. Porn, I caught it on my husband's computer but my argument was why look at this when you have me, am I not good enough. I can't explain why men feel the need to look at porn, maybe it's just to watch a guy fisting a girl, which looked incredibly painful, or to get their mental kicks. Most men do look at it, but not all. And most men look at other women, guess what we do it too! But we're just more nonchalant about it. It may be time for marriage counseling..it's not too early to do it, and it's worth a shot if you love your husband. Which I'm concerned no where did you say in your post that you love him. Maybe you shouldn't have gotten married. But do remember it's much easier to throw in the towel than trying to work on your marriage.
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