A
female
age
36-40,
*OxO1125
writes:Ok, where too begin I have been with my boyfriend/ father of my 8 month old child for a 2 years now we have been realy good friends since we were really little we are still young both only 22 but anyways when we first hooked up i kinda became pregnant right away and he had told me that he migh have another baby on the wayy they didn't kno for sure if the child was his,so anyways time had passed i was 5 months pregnant when the girl had the baby and pretty much dropped him on my door step (remin you we still did not know if the baby was even his) I was working still at the time and by choice i was never forced too but i helped raise the baby i couldnt see a child without a mother, we eventually 3 1/2 months down the road found out THANK GOD that he was bio-logically his. and by this time i was very attached too the baby looked at him the same wayy i did my oldest ad no different then i would the one on the way well each day when i would get home from work i would keep the baby and let my boyfriend get out of the house hang out and even sometimes i would pay a babysitter soo he wouldnt have tooo sit home all day well one day before work i pick up a video camera by this time i am 8 months pregnant and ive been taking care of his other kid for about 4-5 months getting up in the middle of the night never made him do aything well anyways i pick up this camera and there is him just ahving a conversatin with some girl about going out i drop it i mean we foughtt he cried apologized that was the end of it. but now my youngest is 8 months my step-son is 14 months and i have repeatidly caught him cheating with other girls now withing the past couple months i kno he has been faithful and i dont kno what too even do, do i walk away and my bigest fear there is him using my step-son as the middle man i have raised him day in and day out even when we had problems and there was a period when i moved out i took him with me but i am afraid if i really leave him he will use him against me what doo i do i am in love with him but i do kno i will be fine without him and probably better off but i am scared of loosing the baby yea now that the hard part is over he midnight feedings and crying for no reason is over he would be just fine raising him without me am i really just holding on too something hopeless???
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 May 2009):
 I'm sorry to tell you but your boyfriend is a looser. He's acting like he's one of the kids, not the father.
I can not even begin to imagine how hard it is for you to have taken care of and love his other child, but there will be a time where you will discover that you have to TAKE care of YOU. He is already using you ( and the child) so I can't see why he wouldn't continue.
What you could do is tell him that you will continue to help watch the child ( if you are up for it) but on your terms. If he can not abide to that then I'm sorry HE is the one hurting the child NOT you.
He will not stop cheating. You can not cure a liar. He assume that you as a mother will do ANYTHING to help the kids, including accept that he treats you like a doormat.
How do you see yourself in maybe 5 years? Taking care of another one of his kids by another baby-momma?
If the two of you can't figure out how to have a relationship with mutual love, trust and respect what do you have?
You are only 22.
A
female
reader, jayne_staaa  +, writes (21 May 2009):
first of all your boyfriend is no good, hes a horrible lazy man. get rid of him be a strong independent mother and give him the choice i know you still feel attatched to his child but sit down and have a talk about it, work out days in which you or him can visit the child. This relationship isn't working and its unfair to put so much pressure on you at this time in your life. You would be much happier being a single mother than shacked up with a man who shows you no respect at all. be with a man that worships you, but first concentrate on getting to love yourself and love your children. You sound like your doing all the work anyway, don't let yourself be walked all over kick him out.
goodluck xxx
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