A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello. The other night I slept with this guy who I have known for roughly 5 years, but we very seldom saw each other. We finally hung out the other night and one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. I am not like that at all, and have not slept with anyone in over 5 years. I like this guy that I slept with and I feel as though I have ruined any chances of starting a relationship with him. Are my chances of dating him doomed?Also, he contacted me the next day and we talked for a while. He then said he would call me the next day, and has yet to call. However, it has only been a day. Does this mean that he is not interested? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys. Okay, he still hasn't called.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): Well, I think it is a good sign that he contacted you again. As for him not calling you back, it's a classic situation with a guy! Try not to jump to conclusions though, he might have got caught up with other things.
I suggest you wait and see if he contacts you, and if he doesn't, try and contact him. You do deserve to know where you stand with him now that you have slept together. As for being worried that you have ruined things by sleeping with him, maybe you could mention that it was a bit out of character for you, and you would prefer to go more slowly from now on.
But if he doesn't seem interested now that you have slept together, then don't think that it is your fault, and that you have ruined anything. You haven't. He isn't worth it if he takes that attitude, after all, sex is a both-person thing. It might be hard, but at least you'll have an answer.
I hope it works out okay for you. x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): I would give it a while longer. A few men would be put off but many would come back for more!
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A
female
reader, Karlin24 +, writes (21 May 2009):
 Did you ruin your chance? Maybe. From my experience, I never had it work out with a friend, or even someone that I didn't know very well, having sex too soon. I'm not saying it couldn't work, but you jumped a bunch of steps if you were looking for a relationship. You said you talked to him the next day, but you didn't say if you talked about what happened. You should talk about him and let him know, you like him, you have needs and it had been a while and you wanted him, but you'd really like to go back and hit those steps you should have prior to really get to know him and to share things with. If he's interested, he'll be happy to hit those steps. If not, be happy you found out quickly (not the easy way) that he's not your match
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