A
male
age
36-40,
*appyeverafterboy
writes:Well, my problem is that I'm with this girl who I reckon I've been seeing for about 4 weeks maybe more, and I feel we both feel really good together and have been enjoying being with each other but a day ago she told me that she got drunk at the weekend and slept with her ex who she saw while out and I was and still am really hurt by this and even though we both said we still want to carry on, cos she didn't mean for it to happen, well I just don't know because it still hurts, any help is good thanks.
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male
reader, steve107 +, writes (28 December 2007):
 Being drunk is not relli an excuse. Yea she is probebly on the re-bound and still had feelings for her ex but that just shows she is not completly over it and you are not the main person in her life at the moment. It could go 2 ways it could be a glimps of your future with her that she is no good or she may learn from the mistake and never do it again. Although if youve cheated once chances are you will do it again when the going gets tough. Ad find someone better m8. up to you tho. gid luck and let us know what happens.
A
female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (28 December 2007):
 Your girlfriend made a mistake by sleeping with her ex. Even though she was drunk, she was not forced into sex so there were feeling there to sleep with him in the first place. She may still be on the rebound, saying that she did not mean that to happen does not really wash. To have sex with this guy, she wanted this to happen sorry to say.
To her credit, she was honest with you, so she is trying to take some responsibility for her mistake.
If she wants to stay with you, then she will have to accept that she will need to earn your trust again and it will not be easy or overnight.
Take things slow, and communicate a lot before deciding to go any further with this relationship.
There are no magic words that will undo what has been done. Time will help you forgive her and move on.
You know her better than anyone here to determine if this was the "only time" or is she likely to get drunk and do this again.
Everyone deserves a second change but only if you are willing to let this go and start fresh. Unless you are, you take the risk of becoming possessive whenever she goes out without you.
Only you have the answer to this one.
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A
female
reader, truly_unique  +, writes (28 December 2007):
WOW!
what a hard question. i fully understand how you feel. and the best thing to do is follow your gut feeling. I see you having too options here. one staying with her and two leaving her. there are pros and cons for both and oly you can truly decide. The main question is can you trust her? because a relationship without trust is very difficult.
i recommend that you have a really good think about and think about ur feelings in the future? sure you may be a little bit heartbroken if you two break up but would you be more heartbroken if she did it again further on into the relationship.
is being with her worth what you feel now?
if it s then stay together. but u may need to work on your relationship so she knows what she did was unacceptable.
good luck
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A
female
reader, Cyg79  +, writes (28 December 2007):
 If you can forgive her and trust her then there is no reason you can't continue a relationship.I mean she was drunk... However, on a more critical note does alcohol excuse ones actions? Personally I don't think it does and I'm not sure i could truly forgive such a betrayal. And even if i could forgive I'm not sure if i could truly forget and i know in time that it would become my own poison. In the end it comes down to whether or not you wish and want to continue a relationship with her. If you want to put in the time and effort you need to discusses how you feel with her and what can be done to make things work. (such as how to make sure that she doesn't find herself in the same situation.) I'm sorry that you hurt.
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