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Do I dump him and stop putting up with him hurting me over and over? Or do I just get over it?

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 May 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 16 May 2011)
A female Canada age 30-35, *mandanash writes:

My boyfriend never invites me out with his friends. They are people I know, so they are not strangers and a separate bunch of people from me.

I have brought it to my bf's attention after he upset me once night by not inviting me out somewhere and then I caught him at a pub that he said he wasn't going to (he said he was going somewhere else with guys). And i caught him at a table with 2 girls.

Long story short, he apologized and said he would from then on make the effort to invite me out to places when he could.

Tonight he told me he's going to a friends concert in a few days. He then found out right after that his ex girlfriend is going to be there. I got livid from the smirk and laughter he gave when he found out, and the fact that once again, i did not get invited.

This is close to, if not, my last straw with these kinds of situations. They keep happening even though he said he would start inviting me out. And now, his ex will be there, and who knows how that will go if they both have a few drinks im sure.

Before hanging up the phone I told him once again, he had failed to invite me out and how I didn't appreciate it. But what do I do now? Do I dump him and stop putting up with him hurting me over and over? Or do I just get over it?

View related questions: ex girlfriend, his ex

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (16 May 2011):

Honeypie agony auntWhy are you wasting your time trying to change this guy? You do know he isn't going to change, right? Because if he was, he would have thought about asking you to come out too a long time ago.

Find someone who appreciate being with you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2011):

Give him his walking papers. Keep it short and sweet, and sans the drama.

I can understand wanting time out with the guys, we like our time out with the girls. But it looks to me as though he doesn't want you around so he can be more free to fraternize with the ladies.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (16 May 2011):

CindyCares agony aunt Either one, but just pick one and stick to it strictly.

If you told him repeated times what you don't like, and the changes he should make, and what you'd like to see happening, then he says yes, yes sure my darling and keeps doing what he wants, and you keep protesting, arguing, getting mad BUT do not leave him, he'll never ever change, you can bet on that.

So you should either dump him right now and never look back if you are unhappy with this relationship, or decide that the pros of being with him are more than the cons, and shut your mouth forever from now on about his indiscretions, with the knowledge that this behaviour won't change and reproaching it it's wasted breath.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2011):

it doesnt sound like a healthy relationship. i mean from what youve said he ignores how you feel, tells you what you want to hear, and does what ever he wants. it sounds like you should end things, but holding on is easier then letting go. having said that it sounds like you should try to work on your trust and confidence. spend some time with friends and family and serioously consider breaking up with him. seems like the right move. every girl deserves a guy who will appreciate her and respect her.

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