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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I am very disturbed.Its long past my sleep time.I am not able to sleep.I hope someone will show some compassion and help me out. My friend lied to me.I found it out.He told me that he is too busy to talk to me .I found out that he was having fun instead of doing the work he claimed he was doing.Do I send back the Christmas card he sent me?Should I delete him from my friends list?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2008): Thanks Fade.His shoulder has been bearing all my tears.:-)
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2008): Hey Pvtguy,
Thanks for your great answer.
This is a really good quote.
"It is our life challenge to always improve ourselves, not others, in being good people."
I took the advice of britt and Mamma,spoke to him.I would never have done it otherwise.I thank them for their kindness.
It doesn't matter whether he is a new or old friend.He is a great guy.He has helped me through many a trouble or tough corners.
Though he claims it was a misunderstanding,trust is like a fragile vase.Once broken,it is not possible to put it the same way it once was.
I am not going to act childish or petty.I am not going to take any actions.The picket fence is definitely needed in place though.May be the fence would help me heal the shock.As of now I don't want to call him or him calling me.
Some friendships are meant to be.some are not.May be this is one of them.
No regrets.I hope I brought a little cheer and happiness in his life the way he brought into my life.
There are many people who come and go in your life.Only a few of them stay.Life is the best teacher we can all have.
Hopefully I won't make the same mistakes in my future friendships.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2008): Lol.The cookies of DC are so powerful.I wish I could program like that.Ha Ha.
I posted it as anonymous.I am having such a good laugh at the moment.I have forgotten the hurt almost.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2008): I am the OP here.
jimmorrison71 has a point.My reaction sounds very childish and petty.I am not that good a friend.I doubt he even would miss me.
Maybe I am a boring and dull person.That's why he lied.
I am not worldly wise.I don't flirt.
MammaMia, I thank you for your inputs.My gut instinct says he has fallen out of the friendship.Not all friends remain friends forever.
I have already deleted him from one of my lists so that I don't talk to him first and disturb him.
Letting go is the toughest thing any one has to do.Life is not a bed of roses.
I thank you for all your help.I did sleep for a few hours.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2008): As the previous aunt mentioned, the situation is not very clear. But with the information available, I would suggest you have two options.
1. Ignore him and discard the card
or
2. Talk to him and make him aware of the fact that you are aware of his lies. Monitor his reaction(body language) and then decide if he can justify himself or not!
You will have a "gut" feeling or instinct...follow that! If you don't feel comfortable delete him from your friends list and don't return the card, just destroy it. While you tare it up in small piecces, say to yourself that he is not worthy of you, your love and your trust. Honesty is vital in any relationship and if he cannot be honest with you now, how will you ever be able to trust him.
However, for your own peace of mind, give him the benefit of the doubt and talk to him, then decide, but be alert and don't be fooled by smooth talking.
Marquis De Vauvenargues said: " Emotion has taught mankind to reason".
And Josephine Hart said: " "We do have a choice, but not without some agony".
But always remeber: " HONESTY is the first chapter of the book of wisdom". ( Thomas Jefferson).
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2008): I thank you for helping me.
I hate confrontations.How do you tell your friend,"I found you lied to me".That seems very confrontational.
I know for a fact he lied to me.I am not lying either.I am sensitive.That's why I got hurt.Most people would ignore it probably.:(
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2008): I think that is a little drastic. Confront him and ask why he lied to you. Talk about it, and then...if you don't like his answers...throw the card away, delete him from your friends list and move on!
I don't really know the whole situation so that is the best I can do!
If you follow up with more details, we will be able to give more advice!
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