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female
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anonymous
writes: I think i'm in love with my best guy friend! we've been friends for ages and now that we've both been single for quite some while our friendship has started to develop into something more. However the last girlfriend he had is my ex best friend (we had an argument when they were going out) and i feel like i'm betraying her if i go out with him! should i go out with him or would it ruin mine and his and what's left of my ex friends?
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (25 January 2006):
 Well you are not on that good terms with your ex best friend anyway. I don't know the full facts so it's hard to comment on one level but they must be ex's for a reason and also there is no indication that she wants him back. Also i get the impression from what you write that a period of time has passed between them splitting. Taking all thes factors into consideration it seems that the risk to the relationship with your ex best friend is minimal. Given that she seems to have no desire to have him back I think it is hard for you to see this as a betrayal of her.
I wonder if the real issue here is the risk to the relationship between you and your friend. This one is tricker to asses. Of course whatever happens things will never be the same again and there is a risk if you take things further you will alter or even lose the friendship. However that needs to be weighed in the scales about the potential you both have as lovers which in some way will potentially be enhanced by your prior closeness evolving into something truly wonderful. Good luck with whatever you choose to do:)
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