A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a some what complicated dilemma. Me and a guy friend were fwb i suppose you'd call it for maybe 6 months or so, this was last year and it also ended last year as he got a girlfriend but we agreed to stay friends. Basically a few months ago we ended up sleeping together, obviously a HUGE mistake and i tried to forget about what happened and just put it down to a stupid mistake a move on. Here's the thing, me and him were talking online and he asked me if i thought what we did was bad and did a part of me think it was good. I have posted about this before but now i have another question or questions: Firstly, i personally know what we did was a mistake and that it never should have happened, i told him what we did WAS bad, when he asked me if part of me thought it was good this kind of freaked me out as from the answers i got from my previous post about this it seems that he wants to cheat on her again, which there is no way i would do. After it happened i thought he felt remorse, i don't know why i thought he felt remorse, maybe because i thought that any decent human being would. Now he said he is back in town soon and would like to meet up but asked if i'm sure we could behave as i'm "so hot". I just know i can't be friends with him anymore, which does make me sad as before we did what we did we got on well, and after that stupid mistake he promised he just wanted to be friends. Do i cut him off? Do i try and be friends and just ignore his advances towards me? Any advice would be great. Thank you.
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female
reader, goodbyehello93 +, writes (7 October 2010):
 Be clear of your boundaries. Clearly, your uncomfortable with this whole situation so just make it clear to him your boundaries. Don't be scared because if he does leave you for whatever reason after that, then he's just not worth it as a friend or guy.
A
female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (30 September 2010):
 You could try and be friends, if you're sure that's all you want. But it is clear what he wants you for... to have his cake and eat it. So unless you make it VERY clear that friendship means that and nothing else, he will continue to make advances on you for sex. He's got away with it the first time and has obviously gotten over his conscience so far as to try it on again. Don't let him use you for sex when he has a girlfriend. You seem like a nice girl and a decent person. I know you would feel terrible if it happened again. No strings fwb relationships are fine, so long as everyone knows where they stand. Its not fair when someone else is involved ie his girlfriend. He's a cheater and clearly doesn't really love his girlfriend or he wouldn't have jeopardised that relationship with you. I'd suggest you spell it out to him that you don't want to sleep with him again, while he has a girlfriend. Perhaps stay away from him for a while so you can both sort your heads out. If you can't just be friends at the moment then it's probably better you dont spend time together for a while.
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