A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So, I joined an internet dating site. It's been pretty fun. So far I've met up with three guys. The first guy is now a friend, the second didn't go very well, and the third...aw, the third. He messaged me a couple of months ago and I could tell he was one of those guys just trying to score, so I chatted, but never really committed to hanging out. I cancelled some plans a couple of times because of work, but he was persistent, so we finally met up. We had crazy chemistry!!! We met up for early drinks and talked so long that we both got a little too tipsy and ended up at my place. Things got kind of awkward because my roommate was having a loud conversation in the next room, so we didn't have any privacy, but we ended up hooking up, to a certain extent. We cuddled all night and I even woke up in his arms the next morning. He told me he wanted to see me again, even texted me while I was at work to say hi and let me know that he was feeling better (less hungover). Then I lost my phone at work, so I sent him an email to let him know that I was phoneless and if he wanted to hang out he should send me a message. He hasn't. It's been three or four days now. I've been keeping busy, but I had the day off today and can't stop thinking about him...Should I text him to let him know I have my phone? Chances are he hasn't checked his messages, but if he has I don't want to come off to strong and scare him away...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2011): You said he was just trying to score and in a way he did. Then he disappears. Well maybe your first impressions were right; attractive guys can play like that and you willbe attracted because they are professionals. If he hasn't contacted you then he isn't interested enough. Don't chase him; they just get bored.
A
male
reader, Drew21  +, writes (3 May 2011):
 Eh, you have to remember that probably 80% of guys on dating websites are just looking to hook up. I would try to make it a rule NOT have sex until at least the second or third date.
Test the man and try to get his true motives out of him. Sex on a first date from a guy you met online would be a huge red flag to me, as far as potential relationships go.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 May 2011):
 wait for him to come to you...
did you find your phone or replace it?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2011): You say you knew he just wanted to score. He scored. He got what he wanted and now he's back on the dating site scoring with other girls.
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A
female
reader, cupidus +, writes (3 May 2011):
 There are a thousand reasons he didn't call you (YET)
99.9% of those reasons have nothing to do with you. Maybe his goldfish died, he needs to buy shoe laces and can't find the right shop.
Let it go as fast as it came. If he calls be cool, very cool.
If he doesn't you have access to 1.5 billion other males online. And I must say, you seem to be doing well at it.
Chemistry at first sight is also regarded as one of the biggest and most baddest red flags around.
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