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male
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*aardman12
writes: I have been married for over 25 years and I love my wife very much. Our sex life has slowed to maybe a once a week and I am not sure why this has happened. I still have the inclination but she is always too tired. Now for the complication: A woman I have known for many years even before I met my wife has given me the cum on and wants to have a affair with me. I have the dilema of do I cheat on my wife to get the extra sex we are not having? Very tempted but unsure
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male
reader, David Lewis  +, writes (18 October 2006):
 If you are willing to risk throwing away 25 years of your life, go for it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2006): Dont ruin your marriage, Your lucky, once a week is a great deal more that what im getting, Ive been with my man only 3 years and once a week would be great! its more like when he can be bothered, which isnt often, im not even thinking about cheating! you should be grateful after that length of time how much sex you are having.
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female
reader, Acaringear +, writes (18 October 2006):
No do not.. Once a week is good - that is fine after that length of time - what are you thinking of?
I would just masterbate and maybe talk to her about it.
Don't put your marriage in jeapordy you will regret it more than anything else
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male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (16 October 2006):
 I with everyone else. Don't ruin your marriage for lust. The trust is shot and it is hard as hell to get it back. Do yourself a favor and talk to your wife. Just don't jeopardize what you have for sex!!! Its not worth it.
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (16 October 2006):
 As martini and Dr Pete mentioned, there are options. Counseling would be the best. Once you cheat, you're a cheater. Tell your wife how much this bothers you. Also, ask yourself if you're spending too much time with this other women. It sounds like you are. The more you convince yourself you've tried everything at home, the more likely you are to cheat. This other women is no friend. She's the enemy. You've got a 25 year relationship and she'd love to be the catalyst that destroys it. What kind of person is that? If you really love your wife that much, you won't do it. Give her some options. Tell her how you feel. Tell her other people desire you. Tell her your frustrated and want to get some guidance from a professional, as a couple. If in the end she won't participate, end your relationship with your wife before moving on.
Realistically, bringing another woman into your life, while married, as suggested above, won't work for long. Not usually anyway. 99% of people who are married will attest to that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2006): Well once you've exhausted all your romancing and effort, there is always a time when your threshold will break. When that time comes, or before it does, it would be good to talk to your wife about it. I know staying loyal that way can be difficult, cuz sex is independent from itself from love. It's more like a complementary item to love.
Anyway, as I was saying, once the talking is done and no resolution can come from it, you can always either strike up a deal to stay with your wife and bring in someone else into your life with your wife's approval, or divorce your wife and go after someone else.
Marriage - people assume is always about an absoluteness. If the desires of two people are simplified, then of course, it can be done and such things like lack of sex, lack of excitement, and lack of romance, etc, etc, are just whatever. However, for those who do need those things in life, that's what a lot of marriages turn into - a lack of many things.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2006): You're in a tough but very common situation.
What means more to you, the love, stability, trust and faithfulness in your marriage, or having sex?
You'll go with whatever option means more to you.
But perhaps you have a third option. Couple counseling - perhaps you could try this before sleeping with someone else? Once you've been unfaithful, you'd have effectively ruined a 25 year marriage and that is something you will probably regret for the rest of your days... this women is probably tempting - but is she worth loosing so much over?
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female
reader, lovely1000 +, writes (16 October 2006):
I cant believe you are seriously asking that question, as though the answer is not obvious. Of course you should not and i think you know that because you would have done it by now. And well done for not. You want to know how to sort out the problem with your wife. Try and romance her a bit more and get her in the mood. Have special nights together to put aside the life habits, work, bills etc and remember the love and passion you used to have. After 25 years together its all about effort, so put in some effort and im sure things will be better. But dont cheat on your wife.
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