A
male
age
36-40,
*imon84
writes:So i work with someone thats been showing inconsistency in her behaviour, just wanted to know whats wrong or going on. So the story goes, we both annoy each other, ignore each other, hate each other, backstab each other. She deleted my phone number, unknowing i did the same, she can use me when she needs help with work, sometimes she won't even say bye, doesn't stick up for me, only flirts when she wants too, the the flip side she hugs me a lot, kisses on the cheek, makes stupid comments on the way we hug, gives me stupid nicknames like lover and baby-boy, sometimes we do hold hands. We do walk together with our arms around each others waists like say a couple would. Sometimes i do catch her staring at me. Can she really be that fake? The way she acts i always thought it was her flirty personality, after reading some of the comments on different forums, i guess i was wrong, i just copied what she did, i.e hugging+kissing on the cheek, many times I've asked her to stop, saying people are watching, but she doesn't seem to care, she gave me a hug on the front counter, where everyone could see us,(i know i shouldn't say it, but thats the best hug i had off her) i had to basically push her off, but she doesn't seem to get it. The kisses i must admit were my fault, i tried to test the water by basically nuzzling her neck/shoulder, then came the kisses on the cheek. The other day she commented on the way we were hugging, say that " the way we're hugging its gonna look like we're girlfriend and boyfriend". I understand that this kind of behaviour is not for the workplace, i always thought it as just friendly flirting, maybe not.... I do try to hide my feels for her, by saying a fancy different girls, i know that she knows which girls i like and which ones talk to me. Shes been acting so funny these last few weeks so i wondering if she wants me to either leave her alone or ask her out. She's never said that she likes me,
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flirt, I work with, workplace Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 July 2016):
 Are you really in your 30s? If so then it is time to grow up and act like an adult.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (10 July 2016):
 You're both acting like you're in primary school - just stop. Stop flirting and let her get moody. It's not that difficult, OP; you're making it worse for yourself.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (10 July 2016):
 So stop playing games and act like an adult in the work place?
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A
male
reader, Simon84 +, writes (9 July 2016):
Simon84 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFor gods sake, my flirting with her has gone from bad to worse, now its developed from all that i explained before to, flirting about marrying her, she keeps going on and on, marry me, lets gets married, picking out the ring she wants, it all started last week, gone really bad this week, i keep telling her to stop but she gets me react. If i don't she got a face on. Last week she was telling me " people are gonna talk" now this... I just so fed up... Wonder whats gonna happen next....
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (7 July 2016):
OP, you have to either ask her out or stop flirting because it became awkward to work with her when you both started this playground relationship. This is why you don't do this stuff with co-workers; it always ends messy.
She likes you enough to flirt and you're both single, just ask her out for coffee. You're wasting your time if you don't because this will continue endlessly, with nothing really in it for anyone.
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A
male
reader, Simon84 +, writes (7 July 2016):
Simon84 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo answer some of your questions, yep we are both single, we have been for over two years, I know it's a workplace, we're very careful as to when we hug/hold hands, we never try in make people feel awkward. So this shift has been very very flirty, I've been holding her hand while walking around,( we work at an airport') she's been getting jealous over two new female starters, even saying " your Being nice to the new girls", then while holding hands saying "people are going to start talking about us". As to asking her out, I know it sounds easy, but it's so awkward to ask because if I'm reading the signs wrong, I'm going to look so stupid, plus it's going to make working with her so hard. You see normal flirty is fine, but it's physically flirting that confuses me so much!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2016): If one or both of you is 'taken' this is not acceptable. The partner\partners will find out eventually and this will all blow up in your face. If you are serious about each other then tell your partner that you can't be with them anymore because of this person at work you fell in love with! It's not fair to string people along.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (4 July 2016):
Again I answered your previous post and I still think it is very inappropriate, if you like her well then ask her out and stop acting like a pair of children, she may like you or else she may just like messing with your head, there is only one way to find out, ask her!
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (3 July 2016):
It's very inappropriate and unprofessional, so I think you should either ask her out or ignore the playground behaviour. Give it a go :)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 July 2016):
Ask her out and you will know?
And you are right it's not the kind of behavior for the work-place.
But if you want to find out what's up - ask her out. IF you want to date her.
IF not, maybe dial it down, and be professional at work.
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