A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have known this girl since we were in the first grade. Our families are very close. She was my best friend when we were younger and though we have gone our separate ways and have not been real friends in a long time, I think so much of her and have always felt like I needed to protect her. She is true quality and really is one of a kind. She has been going out with a guy for a long time who I don't trust. I went to a lot of trouble to prove that he was cheating on her and sent the info anonymously to her mother. I have sent her stuff more than once and I feel sort of guilty because it got everyone really upset. The bf denied all the stuff originally and she believed him. I know some people at his college and from them I have total proof that he is a liar. We have a lot of friends in common and they say he is not very nice to her a lot of the time which drives me insane. I have been with my gf for two years and love her completely, but I can't shake this need to take care of this other girl. Am I insane? Do I bring it forward and come clean about what I have done? Should I just say nothing?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2007): You've got yourself quite an interesting predicament, since I find myself pretty-much in a same situation. However, from experience, you can't distort or influence someone's point of view by coming-up with various facts, opinions, and criticism. She loves him, and as long as she doesn't witness it by her eyes, no matter what you say will change the situation, if anything, it will only compromise yours.This is something she will have to face on her own, and all you can do is be there for her, the day that she hits the brick wall. I know it's passive, and it pretty-much sucks, but it's her life and not yours.Keep it under wraps, unless you find yourself in a situation where you can openly discuss such a "touchy" topic together. What can I say, patience is key, and you should still go-on with your life without relentlessly holding back.
A
female
reader, maryann61181 +, writes (8 April 2007):
 Be honest with her and let her know what you took into your own hands. she will be upset with you, but will more than likely understand eventually. The love you have for her is not the same as what you have for your girlfriend. You have known this other girl for much longer and I think you have a love for her like you would have for a sister. There are many different kinds of love and what you have for her is unconditional. There is nothing wrong with wanting to protect this girl. However, your girlfriend may not understand this relationship. You're going to need to explain yourself to her as well. All in all you did what you thought you needed to do. However, you should have approached her first about what you specualted and not have sent the information to them annoyonmously. This arouses questions by people and they begin to assume things. Your girlfriend is the first that needs to know, otherwise you could lose her. Good luck
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