A
female
age
41-50,
*nnemarie782783
writes:HiIm very new to this - infact this is the first ever time i have posted a question but im really interested in an outsiders point of view. Basically i met a guy 2 years ago now and i fell for him hook line and sinker, we were only together for 4 months and i fell pregnant. We decided not to keep the baby but everything went badly due to me wanting him more than he did me and i felt he wasnt there for me so the whole thing ended very badly. Whats worse was he was my brothers friend. It took me a very long time to get over this and he meets someone in that time, i dont get in touch or anything. Completly left it all well alone. Anyway a year after its my brothers welcome home from Afghanistan and we all go on a weekend away - him included minus his gfriend. At first i stay away and gradually we became close over the weekend as in we spoke alot about what happened he was sorry i was sorry. By the end of the 4 days he was crying and telling me how much he was sorry and he never realised how stong his feelings were for me, told me he regretted every decision he had made. Since then we have become really close, i love him with all my heart, so much so it hurts. He is still living with the girlfriend and since september which is when we saw each other again we have seen each other 4 or 5 times and each time its stonger but he never leaves. He says he loves me but wont leave? The last time we saw each other he was in a mess - part of me thinks well good because i cant sleep, work anything. I just want him to make a decision. He said he is now ready to move out and is moving back to his parents for a while to clear his head of the whole messy business. He has said he is walking away from the whole situation so he can start again. I said fine walk away but he has to do it properly and not contact me until his head is sorted as my head is in peices. He hasnt been able to leave alone, He says the only thing worse than having me in his life is not having me there. What does thid mean?! :( He says he knows now what he wants but needs to walk away from everything to get there. I cant waste any more tears on someone who i dont know loves me, he tells me he loves me all the time but i just cant see if he does how he cant be with me. Thanks for any advice here x Reply to this Question
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female
reader, zonks  +, writes (21 January 2009):
hey..let him have a go at this "walking away to sort my mind" Give him a chance to keep his words..but the last chance. You do the same..take a break..join some classes or somethin extra curricular..and set a time space for both of you to be separate. then say after a month ask him to say his final verdict. If he cant make up his mind in one month separation..he probably never will.Then be strong ..get on with your life and never look back. Also keep in mind that a 4 month relationship is too small to take the weight of a abortion..god bless..take care :)
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