A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I have been on four dates with this guy, after every date I am the one who contacts him first and ask him when he is free to hang out. After the fourth date I decided not to contact him and he hasn't contacted me and it has now been 5 days! i really like him! I do know he is also dating other girls and i have been on a few dates with other guys. what do i do should i contact him? let him be? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 April 2013):
 Eh he sounds kind of lukewarm, and as if the pattern is set by now. He likes you - somewhat. Enough to not reject you if you ask him out and if he has the time. But as for being his own idea, well.. he's got all these other girls and apparently you are not top of the chart.
I agree with Cerberus, both in the sense that I am not a big believer in multiple dating precisely because it almost inevitably brings to these hazy- and lazy- situations. Like when you go to a buffet dinner, you'll nibble a bit of this a bit of that, you'll sample what's on offer in virtue of the sheer abundance and convenience of the offer even if they are not your most favourite foods- and when instead you feel like you would KILL for a good steak and you go to the steakhouse, or for a good pizza and go to the pizza place.
And in the sense that it moves the focus on winning over the competition, I mean, maybe you too like the guy but not terribly, it's not like you are in love yet, and I think that if it was just you and him, by now you'd have big misgivings about such a lukewarm suitor. BUT, you have entered the competition now, you feel there's something to WIN, and that by letting go you are abandoning the field theerby accepting defeat, -so that's why probbaly you'll keep working hard for a shot at your " prize ".
But, do ask yourself if the prize is really worth all this trouble.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2013): He doesn't sound all that interested but you're going to have keep chasing OP. The joy of trying to hook a guy who is seeing others is that you're in direct competition with other women, he gets to sit back and let you do the work or he's probably busy putting the work into one of his other women so you're going to have to be one who makes all the contact.
I wish you luck OP, I wouldn't do things your way at all. You can't give a person a proper chance if you're seeing others. But if you want to win this competition then you're going to have to work very hard and guess what, he probably doesn't even like you all that much, just the convenience of you doing everything he's not bothered saying no.
The smart thing to do would be to wait for him to contact you, but that's very unlikely to happen.
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