A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm feeling very confused about a guy at work!! I've like him for quite a while and we always have fun sort of banter, and went on a group holiday where we just got on really well and I sort of thought he might like me. anyway, a couple of weeks ago after a night out (we were born quite drunk) when everyone else had gone, we ended up kissing. Now the complications is that he has a history with someone else from work! I asked him about her on that night though, and he told me it had been over for ages and even though she had ended it, they wouldn't get back together even if she changed her mind. He also said he had like me for ages and had known properly when were on holiday and thought we just clicked and bounced off each other, that if his ex was so bothered he would even get a different job! He threw a lot of compliments around but I won't go into that. I wasn't quite so gushy but obviously agreed with what he'd been saying because I thought t he exact same thing! So far so good.We had a good few texts conversations in the weeks following, the sort of getting to know each other, flirty type of conversations that you have when you're starting to see someone! HOWEVER he seems to still spend all his time with this ex! I took his word that they weren't going out but surely it's not normal to spend that much time together? I just started to feel like maybe he hadn't meant all of the things that he'd said, or that id somehow misread the signals. I tend to be an over thinker so to nip it in the bud I asked him outright, face to face, where he stood on the situation. It wasn't a great time to ask and I did sort of Spring it on him, so I said have a think and get back to me. He told me to leave with him. That was on Thursday morning and I still haven't heard anything. I feel like maybe he just wants to pretend it didn't happen, which would be fine with me if he hadn't said all that stuff and If we didn't have to see each other every day! I just feel like the air needs clearing. Anyway I don't want to look like a psycho so need to know what my next move should be. Should I try and prompt the conversation again or just assume from his actions that he's really not interested?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 September 2016):
 I think you should leave it now, if he was interested he would have texted you by now. It sounds like he may still be caught up with his ex. What he said to you was great, but only words, his actions tell a different story. If he wanted to start something with you he is going around it in a bad way as he is spending all his time with his ex. I honestly think you are better out of this situation before you get hurt.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (18 September 2016):
 It sounds like he has unfinished business with his ex an he went ahead of himself. If they were really over ages ago they would not be hanging around all the time. He would not bring in conversations of ex so much. You just won't hear about her. He has interest but just not ready for a serious relationship. I don't think you have a move. He is passing his turn. The only move is to move on to the next target.
People who had broken up does not necessarily mean single if they are refusing to let go of history.
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