A
female
age
51-59,
*vyblue
writes:Thank you in advance for all that take the time to give their advice. Not a relationship question however I really would like some opinions. Last year I worked briefly with a student during their last year at school. That same student lived directly across the street however they were always respectful to keep school and our private lives separate therefore our working relationship was within the school environment. So I really don't know the family, just him. Yesterday, I went over there with a neighbourly concern when during pleasantries I asked how they were doing since school. I was informed that for the last year he has been fighting Leukaemia. Yesterday being an appointment to see if a new course of treatment was successful. Do you think it would be considered inappropriate to ask if he will be ok? Or ask if I could visit in hospital. I would like to but it is not about me. I don't want to come off as I don't care, I do he is a great kid, but I don't want to come off as overstepping the boundaries either. Just a bit unsure of how to approach things? Again, many thanks
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female
reader, Ivyblue +, writes (23 October 2016):
Ivyblue is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you all for your words of wisdom. Sorry for the passing of your sister Wiseowl, a very difficult and sad time and I thank you for sharing your insight from what you have experienced. I have yet to find a good time to go over. Each time I do they either have visitors of the district nurse is there. So I decided to drop off some goodies with a thinking of you card.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 October 2016):
 Your have a good heart and a very kind person. I think you should visit the family and ask them is there anything that they need while dealing with this. Maybe bring something that they could bring to the hospital for you. Tell them if he is up for visitors to let you know but give them his get well wishes and leave it in there court.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2016): EDIT: "He was courageous and full of grace."
Meant: "She was courageous and full of grace."
Sorry!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2016): You had a professional-relationship, and fighting cancer is a very private matter. Most people are self-conscious about their appearance, and chemo-therapy completely wears them out.
My sister battled Hodgkin's Disease, went into remission for two years, and it returned as leukemia. She preferred family to co-workers or non-relatives as visitors during hospitalization. She felt very uncomfortable under the stares and didn't want sympathy or tears. He was courageous and full of grace. She lost her battle with leukemia, but fought to stay alive as long as she could for her little girl and her husband.
It's much better to send cards, flowers, delicate edibles, and mementos. He will recognize you by name, and would appreciate that you're thinking of him. Most people prefer outsiders to remember them as they were, not as they are in the midst of battle. It's not a matter of vanity or conceit, it's dignity.
Send your letters of encouragement, and even video recordings wishing him well. Continue to check-up on his family and give them well-wishes and invite them to lunch or dinner. They will relay your kind words gestures of kindness; and inform you as much about his progress as they feel comfortable to disclose. From my own experience I think I can say the thought is greatly appreciated; but the patient's privacy and dignity are the priority.
You are a very kind and decent soul!
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (14 October 2016):
 I think it is a lovely idea to make contact. Showing a friendly interest is not "overstepping the boundaries". I am sure he will be pleased to see you.
I do hope he makes a full recovery.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (14 October 2016):
 I think that is very kind of you and I don't think it's overstepping to call on them and see how he is doing. As for visiting in the hospital, I don't know. I know some people battling various cancers are "medically" better off not having visitors. While battling cancer your immune system is not doing so great so even a little cold can make recovery harder. So while you may not feel sick, you can carry germs that can MAKe him sick.
Instead, I'd ask if it would be OK to drop off a little basket with some stuff for him while he is hospitalized, like crossword puzzle books, some paperbacks ( you can ask his family what genre or author, or if they have some suggestions.
I think it's a very kind idea to check up on him and his family.
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