A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy on a dating site, we have been seeing each other since september,i really like him, only see him once or twice a week as we don't live near each other and he works late afternoons, i know it's not very long, but i know he is still on the dating site, also know he has a lot of friends on msn - all women and i have seen him log in and go off-line a few times, i am worried he is seeing someone else. he texts me most days and says he loves coming down to see me but not going to declare his undying love to me - which i obviously wouldn't expect, but i am still worried, do i ask him outright if he is seeing anyone or will that scare him off ?
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (20 November 2010):
 Look at what he is doing and how he is acting...If you don't like what you see, then finish with him. Casual usually stays casual. If you're scared to ask him outright, you probably already know he will back out.xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2010): U are entitled to ask him whatever u want, but u might get an answer u dont like. He also might lie to u, saying he is not seeing anyone else.
But u can deffinitely ask him
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A
female
reader, tdntuck  +, writes (20 November 2010):
 If you require an exclusive relationship with one person, meaning it's not acceptable to you for that person to be seeing other people at the same time, then yes, ask him outright his intentions.
Ask if he is interested in pursuing a long term relationship with you and if so, does he intend to see other people at the same time or you alone. Tell him your expectations and ask him what his expectations are. If it scares him off instead of coming to terms with you (which would mean you both want something different), at least you'll stop assuming and harbouring those anxious and insecure feelings and move on. Communication is never a bad idea!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2010): I think you could just ask whether he is or not as you want to know how serious things are going?
I don't think it should scare him off if you ask casually if you are still both going to see other people or if you would both like to now officially just date each other.
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2010): He might have built up quite a few female contacts if hes been out there dating for a while. And now alot of his contact list could read like the little black book of days gone by. Not a comfy thought if you are thinking of having a full on relationship with him. Its best to ask him how he views your budding relationship. Is it just having pleasant dates now and then. Or working towards a proper exclusive relationship. If asking him that does scare him off. Then atleast you will know where you stand.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2010): Well, if you're only dating and aren't exclusive then yes he probably is. "he texts me most days and says he loves coming down to see me but not going to declare his undying love to me" which means that he doesn't see you two as serious and are just casually dating.
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