A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been FWB with this guy for about 4 and a half years. But it's been an unspoken rule with the other people we know and at our school that we're both unavailable. We see each other all of the time, we have the most amazing conversations and I guess we're like a non verbally confirmed couple.I've done FWB before, and it's emotionally unattached. Whatever this is, it certainly isn't that.We hardly ever fight, but when we do - it's so, so painful. We've gotten even closer when we were younger (around 15, 16) but everytime we did he sort of backed off for a week or so before we just continue on.The thing is, our senior prom is happening in two weeks time and his best friend (one of my best mates too) has told me that he plans to propose. But he's hurt me before because he can't commit and I don't know if I can let him do that to me again. I've never felt like this with anyone else before. I adore him. He's smart, confident, funny and really cute - and inside me, everytime we fight, it stays with me and everytime I think about it, I cry (including now, sorry if my typing goes to pot.) What if he abandons me again? I always knew we weren't just FWB and I want nothing more than to be with him - but I'm terrified too.Do I say yes or no?!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2011): Why would his best friend tell you that? doesn't make sense. Why would a guy propose when he can't commit? Doesn't make sense.
A guy who loves you and sees you as a potential wife would definitely make your relationship official and have no problem committing and a proposal would follow that process. I've never heard of a guy proposing under these circumstances.
He can't even call you his girlfriend so how is he ever going to call you his wife? Nothing adds up.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2011): At this point I'd say 'no'. Marriage is a big commitment, and a lot of work for women. It might be good for him, but I don't think, at your age, it would be good for you.
Establish yourself on your own first. Then, when you're ready (and you'll know when you are because there won't be these doubts) then marry.
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A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (5 June 2011):
 Why would you say yes to a guy who can't even openly call you his girlfriend?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (5 June 2011):
 You are still in highschool, so what is the BIG hurry to marry? Get an aducation, see the world, live life a little.
And, as a rule of thumb, if you have doubts.. it's most likely not the right thing to do.
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