A
male
age
36-40,
*ign
writes:Hi Guys,My ex girlfriend recently told me she wanted me back, but she's not ready for a relationship, we kissed and cuddled.We have been out a few times, but her attitude to me is always very blunt in messages and phone calls, I get zero affection on texts, no kisses, and she is the type of girl who puts a 'x' at the end of every text.I've decided that I'm going to let her get in touch with me, as I have been the one initiating contact up to now. And frankly she never replies with anything meaningful anyway.It's been three days and I've heard nothing from her. I know she's around as I've seen her post a few things on Facebook.Do I accept that she doesn't want a reconciliation?
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male
reader, Xign +, writes (12 September 2012):
Xign is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCheers guys. She isn't good for me. I know xos I wouldn't treat anyone like the way she has me. Onward and upward!
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 September 2012):
 Well yes, you'll have to accept this, since there is no known foolproof method to make someone fall in love with you ( or fall in love with you all over AGAIN ) if they are not inclined to do that on their own. Begging and pleading won't work, and you cannot make them ove you at gun point, right ?
But, try to see it in a more empowering way. If you "accept " her coldness and indifference, that makes you feel like a victim, the underdog that can only go along with other people's decision.
Wht instead if you CHOSe if you decided that this is not the right person for you ? because she is not willing or able to give you the warmth and affection that you look for in a woman ? Not responsive enough, not present enough = not good enough for you, thanks, next please.
It is a subtle shift of perception but it makes a big difference...
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A
male
reader, Xign +, writes (11 September 2012):
Xign is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCheers guys and gals, I kind of thought the same, I just hate the way she's playing games with me :(
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (11 September 2012):
 you accept that yes...
sounds like she's agreeable to a fast game of "slap and tickle" if you want it but not a relationship...
you're a known person... safe and easy...
but the minute she finds someone else you will be history.
do yourself a favor and do not contact her...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 September 2012):
 I would accept it as such. ( that she doesn't really want a reconciliation).
She wants you because you are convenient and familiar, but she really doesn't want to date you, to me, that kind of screams that she wants someone (you) as her security blanket while she find a guy she DOES want to date.
Sorry, I wouldn't put my life on hold while she figures out what she wants. That isn't really fair on you.
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