A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing this guy that I'm really into for almost 2 months now. Things are going great, we have a lot of fun together and we can literally talk the day away with each other.We have hooked up a few times, but have been taking things a little slow in that department...except for the phone sex we engage in...we both go crazy telling each other our fantasies and thinking about acting them out with one another.The thing is...a lot of his fantasies involve borderline "gay" scenarios. He likes the idea of me playing around with his "man hole", even wearing a strap-on and screwing him from behind. And, a lot of his fantasies involve one of his guy roommates...he likes the idea of him walking in on us and watching us, and even participating. Mostly, he wants me to handle both guys at once, or he wants to watch his roommate have sex with me. I'm a very sexually open person, so this sort of talk does turn me on - and if we were in a really committed relationship with each other, I'd be very open to partaking in some of these fantasies. I'm just curious if that's a relatively normal thing for a guy to desire? I've had my fair share of bad luck in the men department and quite honestly, my ex is now openly homosexual...so, I guess I just don't want to get "duped" again. The thing is, the guy I'm seeing has all these crazy fantasies, but he has told me he's not ready to have sex with me, yet......I'm okay waiting (as it hasn't been that long), but it just makes me wonder more and mroe if he's questioning which team he's playing for??advice?
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (18 March 2008):
 Well, he doesn't sound completely gay to me. Maybe a little bi-curious, but otherwise he just sounds kinky. Let's face it - some of us are into some pretty crazy things... I know that my man is kind of into "man hole" (nice terminology) play, but that's because there's a G-spot back there and the sensation is AMAZING for him. Not to mention, he's just VERY sexually adventurous and open.
If you man is avoiding kissing you and playing with your girl parts, then I'd say you may have an issue. And in that case, I would say that he really might be gay. But if he seems completely comfortable with you, and you completely trust him, then I would say that your man is just kinky. Perhaps curious, maybe even bi, but most likely not gay.
That's my guess on it all...
Enjoy, sweetness. If you feel weirded out, if you feel uncomfortable, THEN you have a problem and make sure you let him know if you're not comfortable with anything you do together.
xx India
A
female
reader, bethz0r  +, writes (17 March 2008):
 I'm not saying he's not gay - it's hard to know without knowing the guy - but the fantasies he's describing aren't overtly gay. Just because a guy is open about what physical sensations he enjoys, it doesn't mean he's attracted to guys. The roommate stuff sounds more like a voyeuristic thing to me - after all, watching a guy screwing a girl is pretty much what porn is all about. I had a boyfriend who had no interest in men whatsoever but both of these types of fantasies came up in our dirty talk.
What I'm saying is, I wouldn't rule out the fact that he might be gay or bisexual (personally I think it's more of a spectrum anyway), but he may just be very open minded and forthright with his fantasies.
I hope, in your situation, he's straight (or bi!) and you guys can have some fun together. :)
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (17 March 2008):
 Let me get this straight (no pun intended) he doesn't actually have sex with you yet, despite that the fact the you are ready, willing and waiting but describes his fantasies of his roommate walking in on you and having sex with HIM?
He is the gayest gay that ever gayed on gayday.
Do his fantasies EVER include HIM fucking YOU? You know just the two of you? A rich fantasy life is one thing, but it seems like you are just a tool for him to get to mess around with his roommate.
You are dating two months and he isn't ready for sex yet? Come on, most guys are ready BEFORE the first date! This is WAY beyond gentleman, this is far too close to 'ewh, woman sex, yuck!'
Mind you, the three of you MIGHT have an intresting relationship, but you two alone. Not a chance. He is gay.
Even if he is willing to have sex with you, and what man says no when the girl is ready, he would constantly be on the look out for gay sex. Do you want a relationship like that? As said, in a three-way relationship it could work, but those are rare.
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