A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This is going to sound really silly but here goes.I've been seeing this guy for a few months now and the other day we were bumming around watching tv when a song clip of Rhihanna came on. He made some comment about her having really fat thighs. He was trying to make it a compliment to me, but I just think it was really judging of women's bodies! Am I making something out of nothing? My ex was always telling me what was wrong with my appearance, so I'm not sure if I'm now overly sensitive about this kind of thing. But this new guy hasn't seen me naked yet and comments like that make me a little worried about when he does see me naked.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (21 September 2009):
He likes you, he's with you and he fancies you. That's it.
A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (21 September 2009):
 It's entirely different when we see women on TV than it is when we see girlfriends. Celebrity women exist to be judged by appearance, even singers only get the job because they look good in short shorts and are willing to dance around. If he judges Rhianna negatively, he's saying nothing about women in general, only that he doesn't think she's the most attractive among the half-naked makeup-coated slutty celebrities. When he sees you though, he's going to be happy with what he sees no matter how your thighs are because he cares about you. Love is the greatest aphrodisiac, and those rose-tinted glasses do more than beer goggles ever could. And besides that, I really think he did mean it as a compliment to you, saying that this sex icon isn't so great, because he's got the real beauty sitting next to him.
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (21 September 2009):
Let's assume that he thought that he thought that you'd think she was atractive and was trying to let you know that she wasn't. Guys can say weird things sometimes with strange motivations. I have a REALLY hard time thinking that he was trying to boradcast some future accessment of your body.What I suspect was that your ex was an inconsiderate ass, who treated you poorly and as a result you have concern about what your new love interest is going to think.Here's some thoughts... First, if the new guy hasn't exhibited the same kind of rude and thoughtlessness then odds are good you've connected with someone much nicer. Sadly, there are a small percentage of controlling men, who belive that the best way to keep a woman is to beat her down (emotionally) and convience her that NO ONE will ever want her. This is distructive and sick- my first GF came out of a relationship like this, and the first few months took some extra effort and work. She was well worth it, and years later, I'm proud that she exited our relationship in a much better state than she entered it.Also, I'm going to extend some credit here, but consider this. If your BF hasn't pressured you to get naked with him for the "few months" that you've been seeing each other, it sounds as if he's genuine and probably pretty considerate. Odds are really good that when the time comes he'll be nervous (like you) and will need some reassurance (like you) that everything is alright. Also, I belive that he'll love your body becuase it's you. Most men can see past the things that some call "flaws"- when these meaningless things are attached to women we love, we love them even more. Not one of us is perfect... but we all ahve character- trust his.Finally, it's important that you develop a good self image, and this includes seeing your body naked and in the light of day. This is not so much about running around naked, as it is self confidence. Personally, I enjoy seeing my wife nude, not only because I like teh female body, but because I enjoy seeing her, relaxed and enjoying the freedom of being nude with me. Sex should be fun and without restaint or fear- then it can be great! The journey is meant to be enjoyed, not just getting there, but in the preparation and traveling each mile. Happy Trails!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): I'm a chick, but if he's with you, and he sees you naked - like a lot of poster WILL day, your flaws is the last thing that will be on his mind.
Just be confident! If he didn't like you, he wouldn't be with you. And he doesn't have to see you naked to get an idea of what your body will look like - trust me, he's been checking it out - and if he didn't like it, he wouldn't be there.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): I don't really get why people tear other people down and judge them by their individual body parts, I don't have such attention to detail when I look at women, I just see the whole package, and undeniably Rihanna's whole package is beautiful, those thick lucious feminine thighs included... But I think I get your concerns. He's obviously the type of guy who sees individual body parts instead of a whole person, so maybe you'd be worried about him picking apart your features too? Like saying to himself, "yeah the stomach is nice, the butt's not great, one boob's smaller than the other... etc etc"??? I don't think that'll be an issue when you're actually having sex. Maybe he's a more critical person than I am, but I've never done that when I'm with someone. At least if he's disappointed with what he sees he won't dis you to your face... unless he's an asshole.
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (21 September 2009):
 Like you said he is only trying to compliment you.
I'm sorry that your ex gave you such a low self esteem on your body.
Don't let it get to you. This guy sounds like he really likes you so seeing you naked is not going to chance his feelings for you.
Good Luck!
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