A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Last night my husband and I were drunk, and we did anal sex. He seemed to really get into it, he came in less than a minute. It didn't hurt because I was drunk but I don't want to do it again. My butt is bleeding a little too. My fear is that now he will want anal sex all the time because he said it was tighter. And of course is something new. I know he won't pressure me to do it if I don't want to but now I am going to be wondering if when we're having sex he'd rather be in the other hole. He sometimes has problems keeping an erection when we have sex but last night he was totally into it. Did I make a big mistake by doing anal with him? Anyone with experience please give me advice. Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2011): I think it is an individual thing. My man really likes tight when I give him oral, manual and my fit for him vaginally is very tight so he is happy. We don't do anal or have an interest in it - we joked early on that we would do any and everything but back-door... LOL.
I like spontaneous sexuality where possible and practically speaking it would be sorta of hassle to have to wear gloves, wash down etc. after such activity before going onto to other sexual stuff. Too easy to get a raging vaginal infection easily if any fecal matter is transfered from anus to vagina.
Thus why you wipe to back when you go to the bathroom. We flow in and out of oral sex and the idea of 'mess' in my mouth is not intriquing. All the would require more getting out of bed and washing up if anal were involved. No thank you.
That's too much WORK in my opinion and we just don't see the interest. I tried anal when years ago and only got a sore butt and bleeding from it. Not sure why the man was interested. I'd refuse any such request now.
I'm lubing up enough to help keep my vagina moist now that I am entering menopause. Not interested in venturing into another dry, non lubricated area.
I would not start into anal sex at this point of life (50 years of age). And all men are not interested or even curious.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009): Anal can be a lot of fun with a girl who's into it, and willing to work at making it happen. Guys like anal because it's forbidden, it's TIGHT, your anus is warmer than your vigina (you can feel the heat!)... and woman can come really hard from it... so the woman who said "obviously I get nothing from it" should really do some more reading and see if she can change that...
Woman (who like anal) like it because it's forbidden, it's another 'viginity' to give up, and rather intimant, guys will do almost anything to get into her ass... and she can come like crazy...
you've heard all the reasons people are scared of it...
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female
reader, curiousgirl32382  +, writes (1 October 2009):
 Okay I am married as well anal sex was new to us in that last year we have practiced it. I obviously don't get anything out of it, but I know he likes it every once in a while. Do what I did talk to him ask him how it felt stuff like that. Because i thought the same way you did, and its not always true. Things my husband said when comparing the two ways he enjoys the other way over anal he said things like it's warmer and wetter. But the every once in a while anal is arousing. You have to be open and talk about it. I do bleed a little after each time as well, I think it's harmless. You just have to experiment with lubes we order H2O from adam and eve.com and it works well but for both of us personally saliva works the best. I have come to find out you have to be really relaxed and in the mood for anal other wise its uncomfortable and hurts. Try different positions as well. Most people think of anal just bent over a bed or on all fours I find that those positions are a little more uncomfortable. I recommend lying in the spooning position with a pillow between your knees this way he doesn't have all the control. That is how we started out. Also like I said you have to go every slow and make sure you use a lot of lube. He needs to situate himself behind you and you push into it where you have all control. This was one of the sexual positions my husband always wanted to try and the first time we did it like the movies yeah that don't happen unless your a pro. I had actually talked to a friend and did what she recommended which is what I told you. Now Im not scared. I actually dont dread it. Hope this help. Key thing is yous have to be open and talk about it, ask each other question tell each other what you want.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2009): No you were NOT wrong to do it... remember, you control your body. if you don't want anal, it's off the menu, if you occasionally enjoy it, then it's something specail that you can request when you want it!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2008): It's not so much the actual act as knowing that I can have it that turns me on. My advice, give it too him but make it few and far between and most importantly make him work for it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): ...perhaps you see a lot of anal sex in porn films so that the beauty of the vagina is still on display for all to see. Agreed, it's the taboo stuff which supposedly makes it a turn on. Certainly no physical pleasure for the woman, surely, but again, it's the psychological pleasure of knowing that she's being a naughty little rabbit! I'm a male by the way!
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2008): As a guy a couple of years older than DoubleM, I can say that I can't imagine wanting anal sex over vaginal sex. I did try it twice many years ago, but it was not that enjoyable. The enjoyment comes from doing something that one is not supposed to do. That makes it erotic and a turn-on. I never had a desire to try it again and my partner deffinitely didn't. It's sort of like a blow job. Half the fun is knowing that the woman is willing to swallow. For me, normal sex feels a lot better, even from one woman who was really good at many years ago.
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reader, DoubleM +, writes (30 August 2008):
 As an older man, I used to be considered quite progressive with sex, such as being rather promiscuous, using many positions in many places and engaging in oral activities beginning 45 years ago. Guess that times and ways have changed, because in all those years, I have never participated in anal sex. Well, I have thought about it a very few times. So, I'm not one with this experience, but my opinion is that most men do NOT yearn to stick their wanker there. Perhaps I should suggest that I'm referring to most "older" men?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2008): I have anal sex with my boyfriend every now and again, I kind of like the power it gives me over him...he will do anything for it. With lots of lube I find it enjoyable. Men like it because its really wrong!There are times when he hints or asks and I dont want to...but one thing I do is talk dirty to him and ask him how much he'd like to put it in there and how tight it is and usually this is enough to make him come anyway.If I did it all the time the novelty would wear off and it would be a bit crap for me. And there have been times when I've been sore for quite a while after and wish I hadn't bothered!A lot of men love anal, but I'M sure your man loves it wherever you put it!I wouldn't do anything I wasn't comfortable with so stick to your guns.and tease the life out of himx
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