A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I live in england. I met this guy in June in Turkey. he lives there (and is turkish). We had a great time together..kissed a few times nothing more. We exchanged numbers and email addresses and speak a fair bit. The thing is he doesnt ring me alot, he asks me to ring him and he only texts me now like once a day, sometimes not even that because he is too busy to get credit.He says he loves me and i'm going back next year to see him maybe if it goes ok. i really like him. Should i ask why he doesnt text a lot or just leave it? he said that we will speak more when he goes home for the winter (he is a waiter) on msn. That is at the end of september. im just not sure what to think about him though. is he being genuine? he seems like he is. met my family and stuff when we were out there and is a really nice guy. sorry its so long. just need some advice on what to do, if you think he's being real with me?oh and we spoke about the sterotypical turkish man, and he was hurt by it and said not all of them are like that and he really likes me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2008): Hi
I am married to a turk and have lived here for seven years and am very happy. I see a lot of waiters with foreign girlfriends. A few are genuine but most are not. Throughout the season, there are lots of girls and women out here, can you imagine the temptation? I am not saying that your man is not genuine but please bear this in mind. You met him for, what one, two weeks? A year is a long time to wait. This is a common complaint of foreign women with resort worker boyfriends. They do not spend their money telephoning or texting. They expect you to do all of the running, both financially and emotionally. It may be that he is genuinly busy, although the resorts have quietened down a fair bit now. How long does it take to send a text anyway? It makes no difference that he has met your family, if they were on holiday with you, it was likely to happen anyway.
Long distance relationships are very difficult. Relationships between two seperate cultures and with a language barrier are an extreme challenge.
Concentrate on yourself and choose a boyfriend who is closer to home and that you don't have to wait a year to see
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2008): It could be that he isn't able to afford to phone you so often. You come from the UK, compared to him, you have lots of money to telephone...
He's met your family and he rejects the stereotype of a typical fortune hunting man, looking for an easy ride. He likes you but he might not be able to afford to phone, but he likes it when you do.
What dose it hurt to keep him as a friend, maybe you should try writing to him instead (it's cheaper).. I have a friend who lives far away, and like you, I have to phone, because he has little money, compared to me, due to the strength of the English pound. Treat him as a friend, no more than that, and when next year comes, if you want to choose Turkey as a holiday destination, well then look him up then..
A year is a long time to wait, you may meet somebody else, so might he. It is difficult to keep a long distance romance going, anything could happen whilst you two are apart. But a friendship is a different matter. You can send postcards, photographs, birthday cards, and phone him now and then. Could a friendship work yes, I've been in contact with my friend for over two years...
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