A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Will guys ever CHOOSE to be just friends with a girl? If he finds her beautiful inside and out- nice, sweet, amazing looks, smart, etc- and they're both single? There's sexual tension. Can he ever just want it to stay platonic?Happened with the guy I like. He's told me I'm all these things (and he doesn't tell many girls that), yet he never really seems to make the effort to hang out more. But when we do hang out, he's all over me. He doesn't talk to me without flirting. He's 5 years older and got out of a 4 year relationship last spring. Do you think he wants to be with me, but doesn't want to get together with someone, so he finds it better just not to meet with me often?Please give me any insight you might have!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2010): I don't think that's true, that a guy won't just be friends with an attractive girl. There are situations where that might be the case. A married man might just like to collect attractive friends of whatever gender, for instance. Or a guy might want a friend whom he can occasionally sleep with. (I'm not saying there are GOOD reasons for a guy to be just friends with a girl).
Of course yours is a specific situation, and honestly, I don't think he's interested in you as more than a friend. If he were, he'd be pursuing you and making an effort to see you. And based on what you have told us, it's hard to tell why. Even if your theory is true, that he is not pursuing you because he doesn't want to be with someone --then isn't that enough indication that he doesn't want you?
Some guys are flirts and some guys will only want to be friends and sleep with you. Just make sure you know what you are getting yourself into and that you are okay that. If you like the guy and he can't give you more than friendship, and you want more than friendship, then I think you have to move on.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours  +, writes (1 April 2010):
 I don't think so.
I had this guy friend who i was so happy to have because he never seemed to want anything more and that was a nice change. Then four years later, after I broke up with my ex, he randomly tried to make out with me.
Yup....
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (1 April 2010):
 Pretty much what Laura said. A guy won't usually JUST be friends with an attractive girl.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (1 April 2010):
 If the girl is very ugly or unattractive, they would just be her friend.
If she is like what you describe, their hormones would go into overdrive.
They only choose to be her friend because they have no other choice, ....LOL!
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