A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:She's in a relationship with a guy for 4 years plus. She went through a lot of emotional hurt with him. He is emotionally abusive, controlling and possessive too. She broke up but then went back to him many times thinking that he might change. A guy used to like her and she too liked and had feelings for him for a year. She felt happy and laughed around while talking to him and that guy did sweet things just to make her happy. In her heart, she knew he was really sweet and was caring, but she threw him away from her life because she still had hopes that she can change her bf. She's still in the same cycle with her bf and has conflicts. She lost the friendship of that guy who loved her. It has been several months she last talked to him. Someday, will she realize about her lost?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2011): She might realise someday but probably not. The problem with women who get involved in abusive relationships is that they rarely change, unfortunately. It is a pattern and a cycle for them. They are attracted to this kind of abusive dynamic. Unless you are going to substitute for the pain and trauma that her current boyfriend inflicts on her, she is probably not going to have any interest in you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2011): It doesn't matter whether she realizes that or not the fact remains she's in love with someone else and not that sweet, caring guy.
She's a fool like the millions of other people that go back to toxic relationships hoping they can change the other person but so is the sweet and caring guy because he won't let go of her either.
You see with girls like that, all that caring guy was, all the laughter and fun they shared was only used by her as strength to go back to her boyfriend. It's very common.
The best thing the caring guy can is forget about her and move on or he's just as stupid as her.
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (11 March 2011):
She loves her boyfriend, even is he abuses her. That's a pretty common pattern and a pretty unhealthy one too.
You better move on and save yourself the pain. You can't save her from what she doesn't want to be saved. And even if she realizes how good you are, it doesn't mean that she loves you. In fact I think she already knows you are better than her boyfriend.
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