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Do friendships have rules, and who makes them up?

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 December 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 23 December 2009)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Is it considered going behind your best friends back if you don't share things like who you are hanging out with or who you like or even what is on your mind?

View related questions: best friend

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009):

No, going behind someones back is when you have a problem with that person and instead of going to them to resolve that problem you discuss it with someone else or bad mouth them to other people, or say something about them to others that you wouldn't say to their face. Going behind someones back is basically when you do something to the detriment of your friend as regards other people.

What you share with your friends is based on closeness, if you have a close friend that you can rely on and trust, then you can tell them all this stuff, because they'll want to know and help if they can.

We all have many different types of friend, college/work buddies that you can talk to about exam stress and basic personal stuff, close friends who can be told anything, good friends that like to know the general stuff but don't go into detail, aquantances that are good for a chat but don't want to go personal.

A great example of how friendships work and are developed is the game "The Sims" as basic as the friendships are in it, they're still very accurate. Such as not taking care of your friends emotional needs or letting them know you trust them anough to confide in them can cause friends to drift apart.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009):

Sharing things like what you said may sometimes boomerang on you. You should be prudent enough to share these things

Also you should take in to account what the other person

perceives about you

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009):

no me and my best friend only talk about things i feel like sharing or things she wants to share.if you are embarrassed about talking about it to her then don't don't spill the beans about it.

who you like is your business just say nobody, or none of your bee's wax.

what's on your mind is your business also just say nothing, or just talking to you, or thinking about our homework or ice cream (that always works for me)

who you hang out with is your business also say just (blah and blah) or nobody today and if they want to make plans either go or say I'm already busy (always works) HOPE I HELPED YOU OUT!!!

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