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Did my husband rape my sister or was it consensual?

Tagged as: Cheating, Family, Marriage problems, Three is a crowd, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 December 2009) 9 Answers - (Newest, 25 December 2009)
A female Australia age 36-40, anonymous writes:

i found out that my sister woke up to find my husband on top her having intercourse with her. shes saying this is what happened and she pushed him off and that he kept calling her BABE referring to me. for some reason he hought it was me. yeah right.

but when speaking to my sister about it i was balling my eyes out for her. its rape wat he did but she said to me and i quote "hahahaha im always ruining ppls marriages" wat the f*ck? she is still saying that she was basically raped but wont report it.

but ive just found out that a friend who had stayed that same night went to the toilet and on her way back to the bed she saw my sister riding him, her words.

so wat do i do?

was she that wasted that she doesnt remember that she seriously thinks she was raped or is she covering it up for my sake as a sister?

and did my husband seriously think it was me? he says he doesnt remeber.

wat do i do? do i confront her or not?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks everyone for your responses. i do beleive they had sex and i do beleive that my husband remembers and i do not beleive that he might of thought it was me(my fucken arse, he knew it was my sister!) my sister is the type to deliberately cause trouble, for instance she slept with a neighbour for a while and gave him an ultimatem herself or his wife. stupid him picked her but that ended soon after. similar stories have happened as well and she has also admitted to me kissing my other sisters boyfriend. she is the biggest flirt when drunk shes been with so many of my husbad friends which have families too. i beleive my friend coz it really would not have suprised me but if i confront her i know she is the type to either confess or deny and make it a living hell. she'll press rape charges against my husband and all of the above just to get her way. she is an awful person when things dont go her way. she has 2 children with different fathers which both left her and they have no visitations rights to see there kids coz of lies. Fuck it im going to confront her. Wish me luck! Oh and i also have a 3 year daughter stuck in the middle of this if anyone wanted to know.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009):

Tbh i agree with absolutley everyone who is saying the "i thought it was you though" is complete BULL.

And as for your sister? How can family treat you like that, i've been drunk, sometimes really drunk, and you still have some concept of what your doing and who with.

CHUCK your husband for deffo, and as for your sister, confront her, and properly interrogate her, because your friend or your sister is lying and you need to find out who is ! Good luck :)

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (23 December 2009):

Honeypie agony auntAll I can say is WOW. I would be short 1 husband and 1 sister right about now if that was me.

I would confront your sister about the "riding" part see how she reacts. It could be your friend was lying, it could be true.

As for your husband... Unless you and your sister look like identical twins I highly doubt he thought it was you.

And... if he can keep an erection he can not have been so darn drunk he didn't know who he was screwing.

I'm sorry you must feel sick.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009):

If a friend told you that she was riding him, tell her that you know and see what she says

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A female reader, miss lilian United Kingdom +, writes (23 December 2009):

miss lilian agony auntI think there is a good chance you have a twisted sister. Going by her reply about always breaking up peoples relationships and what the friend saw in the hall. I think she has obviously felt jealous of you and other peoples relationships and took advantage of this. I don't know your sister are/ were you and she close? could she be jealous of your and your husbands relationship taking attention away from you? or is she after your husband? I would assume that your husband knew it was her, the amazing don't remember excuse doesn't really stand.

I would take the advice and get some couselling either couple or personal just to work out where you want to go form here.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (23 December 2009):

Aunty BimBim agony auntIt all sounds like a big sorry mess, I agree that you should confront them, with your witness by your side. I agree with Griffo your sister seems to have scant regard for your feelings and marriage in all this.

The marriage can probably be saved if you both want it, but I think the relationship between you and your sister is kaput!

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A male reader, Griffo Australia +, writes (23 December 2009):

Griffo agony auntYes, confront her.

What does your husband say about this? Have you confronted him?

Look at it simply. If she was really raped she would probably be in total shock. By her giving you that pathetic response is basically saying to you she does not give a shit about your feelings at all. And the laughing factor is just implying she thinks it's funny.

I don't know how your feeling now but you may want to go see a marriage councellor as soon as you get a chance to. They can advise you on exactly what to do. Because I'm affraid I feel your in a little bit of denial here and it's sounding abvious what is happening. I may be wrong but I think you need this external person to advise you in further detail.

And go back to that friend and if it someone realy trust I'd ask them to be like a witness and tell him/her your going to confront your sister and husband and ask if he she will back you up and support you. That friend is also now involved.

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A female reader, Angzw Zimbabwe +, writes (23 December 2009):

Ask them to take a lie detector test. Just google polygraph test and you will find one near you. Lying bastards.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009):

i tend to lean toward consensual. My antenae is quivering and sensing that something isnt as it appears...mal

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