A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm feeling confused over a man I have knew for a few months. He blows hot and cold! I see him once a week at church, Some weeks he is great around me and comes up to me and chats away, putting his arm around me,rubs my arm, flirts ect and then the next week acts like a stranger and doesn't even say hello. Like to be fair it is always him who approaches me. But I do like him and sometimes I think it is mutal and other times I don't know. What I'm asking do folk think the likes me or not? How can I show him I am interested back!
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female
reader, Flower89  +, writes (26 March 2014):
 This doesn't sound like a man who likes you tbh, I attend church and sometimes the men in the church hug me, give me supportive pats on the back and just really friendly, I don't see them in a romantic sense nor do they see me that way, Church leaders do have to make a point of getting round everyone and making sure they are made to feel welcome (my fathers a pastor) and maby the weeks he didn't come over to you, did someone else come and speak to you? Allowing him to greet others within the church. Sorry but your intention at church every week should be to hear from God not weither a man is going to pay you attention or not. Sorry to sound harsh but maby at other events the church holds go along and get to know him better, he isn't going to ask you out at the Sunday service is he?
A
female
reader, Sensible Alice  +, writes (26 March 2014):
 I read somewhere that these days people are mistaking good manners and friendliness for flirting, so I wonder if this could be the case here. Maybe observe him to see if he is being friendly to others in the congregation (not just women), perhaps he is doing it to make them feel welcomed and comfortable. If he only seems to do it with you then perhaps it is time you approached him first and initiated a conversation, as he might feel you aren't interested in him or he mightn't want to come across as too obvious. Maybe you could spend some more time around him, during church cleaning or maybe arrange a group outing, so that you can get to know him a little better.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (25 March 2014):
 I really don't know whether or not he "likes" you in a romantic way, only he would know the answer to that question.
It does seem strange, however, that one week he's friendly, the next he's distant. This doesn't sound like the behaviour of a man who's interested in you if I'm honest unless of course, on the weeks that he's distant, there is another person around who he's keen on or may disapprove of him showing public displays of affection.
I think rather than showing him your interested I would try to chat to him more and learn a bit more about him, you could then, later on, maybe suggest a coffee after church.
I would recommend caution though, until you know him better and understand why he behaves as he does.
I hope this helps and wish you well AB x
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