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male
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anonymous
writes: Females often tell me that they thought I was mean/stuck up until they talk to me. I'll admit that many females find me really attractive but I'm really shy and I don't think they realize that. So do females look at some guys as being completely unapproachable? If so how can I fix that?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2007): I've been told that I'm really intimidating. But I think they're just being nice...
I've been turned down by 99% of the girls I've asked out... Okay, so my record isn't quite that bad, but it seems to me that women have a lot of factors that they consider before saying yes, and the biggest factor has more to do with how they're approached initially than anything else.
So, learn to swagger a little bit. Act confident, but not cocky, or at least not too cocky. Be aloof, but not inattentive.
Yes, women seem to want the walking contradiction, or as they say - an oxymoron. Ironic isn't it?
All joking aside, I just wanted to let the women on this site know that I'm intimidating. :-)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2006): It may be that you are not so good looking, but as so aloof that you seemed conceited or not interested....if you are totally lacking warmth, then you become unapproachable. Try focusing more on others when you are in their prescence instead of on the insecure shy feelings or anxiety that you have when confronted with a social situation....sometimes that helps to just try and be really interested in what someone else is saying, even if they are less intelligent than you are, be interested anyway....if that does not help, you may want to seek professional help to deal with a social anxiety disorder if you find that you feel extremely shy in social situations to the point of focusing on others and feeling that they just don't like you...this may be a result of your anxiety disorder and not at all based on reality.
If you are not sure, it is best to get it checked out by a PhD Behaioral or Cognitive Behavioral therapist who can diagnose you and help you with this issue.
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A
female
reader, sweetiegirl  +, writes (16 December 2006):
 oh yeah some guys do look unaproachable, the best way to avoid that is to be a little more out going when at a bar or public place. when talking to friends try laughing a bit more and smile a bit more women are more likely to talk to a guy if he is smiling and laughing then to a guy that is looking at the floor the whole night. lol
just try it once and see if it makes a difference if it doesn't let me know and we'll try something else
hope that helps
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