A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear aunt and unclesDo birthdays decrease on importance as we age?I ask because my mother who is 55 will have her birthday on the middle of January. I have to move to a new city due to work and school, and I have to be on the new city on the 10th to get my apartment keys. She was never the sort to worry about birthdays and everytime we made big deal out of it her attitude was very "meh",..appreciative, but did not care a lot.Even on my birthday she did get me gift, but did not fuss about me much, and there was no birthday dinner, and they were so uncaring I even pointed it out, and she called me immature and said that eventually this does not matter.HOWEVER, this year when I told her I would be leaving the 9th, she complained I would be missing her birthday. This took my aback since she never seemed to care much, and always says that birthdays are unimportant.Now I feel seriously guilty for leaving, but I dont see much point on staying because I know she wont take the day off work or anything to do anything fun or take her out... My brother and me alreayd bought her a gift though.My grandma lives overseas, and we only went once for her birthday on the 14 years she has lived outside.I feel very guilty,My mom says "I was kidding it does not matter!"I dont know if she means it or not! :/HELP!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 January 2013):
 I only celebrate big birthdays now... those with 0 or 5 at the end..... it's for sure decreased for me.
best advice... LIVE YOUR LIFE... send a card and make a phone call on birthday day... that will be enough for most parents... that you remembered.
A
female
reader, Staceily +, writes (3 January 2013):
 I've found that birthdays and Christmas definitely lose importance as you age. They are more exciting when you are a child or have a younger child. I know for my family birthdays and Christmas were always such a big deal. A few years ago after I had moved out it all seemed to change, I had to make my own birthday plans with my parents because they didn't seem to care much. And Christmas went from a big ordeal to a box of towels and a frying pan... Not even stockings anymore! At first I was upset because it felt like my youth was over and nothing is exciting anymore but now I look forward to having my own kids and making a big deal for their birthdays and holidays.
I'd say to apologize to your mother this time and explain how you thought she didn't want to make a big deal of her birthday so you didn't. But that you will make it up to her when you are together again and will go out to lunch. It isn't a big deal, you did still get her a present and she did say not to make a big deal of it. So just apologize and make plans for a small thing next time.
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (3 January 2013):
 Yes, for Men.
No, for Women.
Generally speaking.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (3 January 2013):
 Hi
Go do what you have to do, just remember to phone her in the morning or evening. You have bought a gift, can send a card. Then maybe cook her a meal or take her for one when your next home.
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