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male
age
41-50,
* Spirit
writes: A question for the ladies.Is there actually some sort of infatuation (hope i spelled that right) with "The Bad Boy"?I am 28, and I feel I am a pretty decent guy. Although almost every relationship I've had the woman seems to get bored or find some drunk to beat her up. Should I be the Bad Guy? Is that what women want? Do any women want a good guy who is forever faithful and would do anything for you?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2007): I go through phases in terms of the type of guy I like. Like whenever I get out of a relationship, the next time I get involved I usually look for the opposite of my last bf. So if my last bf was a goodie goodie then I will date a bad boy next time.
And my phases also depend on me and what I want at that moment. Like if I am going through a "I feel mature and want marriage material" then I will go for a good guy.
And also it depends on the girl and her lifestyle. Some girls might have kind of offbeat urban lifestyles that are more compatible with guys who have that similar take on life.
I don't think you can put all girls in one group. And you shouldn't feel that you have to be someone you are not to get girls. You are probably just meeting the wrong girls.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2007): I see a man dressed or acting in a way that would be considered "bad" I am attracted. I think this is because most women have a secret desire to be dominated or they just want someone on a higher level of authority than them so they can be comforted. It's going to sound weird, but it's almost like a daughter looking up to her father.
Sounds gross, but it's the principle of submitting to someone else. Most women in relationships now a days are very controlling and most don't like being told what to do or being rational. The relationships in which men are in complete control of their wives, girlfriends, daughters or any woman never work out. The same goes for relationships which involve woman being in complete control of their husbands, boyfriends, and sons.
It all comes down to making good choices. One should never feel inferior or boring to someone they are dating or married to. If inferiority and boredom are the dominant emotions in a relationship, then it's not love.
So if someone is bored with you or treats you badly as thoguh it were thei right, then a serious change needs to occur or the relationship just wont work.
So to answer your question: In general, it's an initial attraction and infatuation. But infatuation isn't love, so eventually women who constantly go for bad men will learn their mistakes.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2007): I actually think that that´s not true bad goys are most likely to find girls for the moment just to do... but good guys will find a girl who wants a real relashionship not only for a moment but a suporter for the rest of your life one that will want you seriously and good girls will find guys that will actually want them to be the mother of their children whom they respect and care for and think she will actually educate them to in the future be persons of good and be toghether for the rest of your life it can sound as a fary tale but I actually can see it in my family i´m not saying my parents don´t fight but they get over it and try to be together without loosing the man or the woman of their dreams
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A
female
reader, stars224  +, writes (16 January 2007):
honestly, all i have ever wanted is to find the love of my life and live happily ever after, but all i have ever attracted are the bad guys. or good guys that i didnt want. until now. i met this 'good guy'recently. we went on a date. he brought me flowers, opened doors for me, made me feel like i was the only woman on the planet and we are besotted already with each other. he is completely open, wears his heart on his sleeve and says he has been treated bad by women because of this. i didnt know how to react when i was being treated so nicely, because im not used to it. but it feels so good. im the happiest ive ever been with a guy, even though its only very early days. the moral of the story is, there will be someone out there who appreciates you and the kindness and niceness you show them. im sorry that you have had to wait all this time and still not met that person, but it will happen. please dont change. there are only a minority of you 'good guys' left.
good luck. i hope you find love soon.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2007): Have you thought that it could be you that is attracting women that "get bored" or" find some drunk to beat [them] up" that is more likely, isn't it?
It's probably a wrong assumption to rationalise this by blaming yourself for not treating them bad enough!
Women want a lot out of a man, but it's definately not to be treated bad by them. Some girls do get abused by men, and become attracted to that, but then again, some men equally get abused by women.
You say you are "forever faithful" and would "do anything" for the partner, do you think you might be "too" nice?
The too nice guy is not "too nice" but rather, annoyingly clingy. A sure sign they are deep-down insecure and needy themselves.
We tend to attract and be attracted to people who reflect ourselves.
Maybe it is a reflection of you, or maybe you've just had some bad luck in the past. In the future just look out for signs that they don't want the same things as you.
Look in to their pasts a little, see if they have suffered abuse in their childhoods or in relationships. That is the best indicator to see what kind of partner they will be for you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2007): All women want different things.
My biggest suggestion is to not let the woman push you around. Let her have her own opinions, but if she does or wants to do something that you don't agree with tell her. If you are so nice that you always let her have her way, then you are being too nice (there is such a thing).
I myself am not as aggressive as I should be. I am passive and don't like confrontation. I do stick up for myself if the situation calls, but I am not a fighter. If I tried to be I would be lying to myself. Just be yourself and let your opinions be heard.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2007): Rite dude im gonna tell u straight up...first of all there is nothing wrong with being a decent guy, the key word here being "GUY!", not a little sissy thats scared of the world. Women dont want a bad boy but they sure as hell dont want a little sissy either!!! So be a decent guy with good morals and values and STICK with them.
BUT also be a man and take charge. Be decisive, confident, dont take no crap, be fantastic in bed, spotaneous and face challenge head on. You dont have to be "macho" but girls want someone thats fun and adventurous that will look after them physically AND emotionally not a soppy little "wannabe nice guy", otherwise u will forever only be a friend.
So do whatever it takes to bring your confidnce levels to a new high...grab life by the balls and take it were YOU want it to go!!! Go on loads of dates, carry on being a decent guy (just with a little extra SPARK) and trust me u will find MRS.RIGHT!
Good Luck and HAVE FUN!!!
ASV
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A
female
reader, shazzi +, writes (14 January 2007):
 Don't be silly you already know the answer to your question. Woman want exactly what men want.
A nice loving relationship, where there best friends to each other, lovers etc. Hang in there, miss rights just around the corner.
Goodluck.
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A
male
reader, David Lewis  +, writes (14 January 2007):
 When I was in my teens, I was as bad as you could get. Involved in gangs, guns, you name it, I was there. The type of girls then were looking to be with somebody who was respected, feared and had a reputation. These girls were sluts though. I had enough of the lifestyle and changed as a person. I was destroying my family because of who I was. I changed and made my family proud.I am almost 30 now, hindisght is a funny old thing. Women want a good guy. They want someone they can trust, someone they can depend on and somebody who would never hurt that person. Dont change for the worse to make yourself more appealing to the wrong type of girl. Be yourself and you will find the one who wants you for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2007): Personally, i hate the bad guy lol
I like the shy kinda sweet guy not that one that gets drunk every weekend and picks fights with his mates...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2007): I think, or well for me anyway, the reason why women may find bad boys attractive is mainly as of their confidence, among other things i'm sure as well. Despite that, i think the ideal sort of guy a girl would want to actually settle down with would be a sweet guy who also has a good balance of confidence... all in all I don't think there's any point to you trying to be badder if that's not who you are. If i were to go out with a bad boy perhaps it'd make a fun fling but i don't think it'd last long. Ultimately a girl wants to end up with someone who will treat them right. Lol, perhaps we set you guys hight standards, but i'm sure you'll eventually meet a girl who loves you for who you are.
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A
female
reader, DeeDoc +, writes (14 January 2007):
 THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS: Oh sweetheart, let me explain something to you.....
You can try to figure out the minds of women till the day that you die, but you will NEVER figure us out! Unfortunately. Challenge is the key word here. If a guy is too good to be true, well, normally we think he is..therefore, we tend to leave those guys alone. But, when we look back, they were the best persons that have come into our lives. It is human nature to seek a challenge, and good guys do not fit into that catagory. It is sad to say, but the 'good guy' in short term loses, but in the long run....THEY WIN!!!!!!!!!!!! Apparently, woman feel that the infamous 'bad guy' is a trophy or whatever.....duh....I say, from experience...GIVE THE GOOD GUY A SHOT!!! He is worth it. Don't give up sweetie. There is a girl out there for you that YOU deserve. Please do not go into the Bad Guy phase, because that is all that it is....a phase. Be who you are...(which is a sweetie) and you will come out with a woman beyond your imagination. Good luck to you....big smiles go with you.
=o)
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A
male
reader, djx617 +, writes (14 January 2007):
All girls probably may or may not its depending on the type of girl. I mean this is on a guys point of veiw.
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A
female
reader, heartxbrokenxgurl +, writes (14 January 2007):
 well i like both but alot of women think bad boys r more excitin to them liek theres alot of nice guys i like but i like some bad boys to but be urslef n ur find a women who likes u for bein good
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A
female
reader, gabriella lopez  +, writes (14 January 2007):
 Not all women want a "bad boy" most want a really nice guy. You are a guy that many girls would be lucky to get, a guy to have a future with. When women get older they grow out of that bad boy term in there life, and want to settle down. Don't change your self you are loyal, sweet, and treat women with respect. Add me.
Gabriella xXx
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A
female
reader, sweetiegirl  +, writes (14 January 2007):
 Women only find a BAD BOY appeeling for the first little while, and no you should never change who you are alot of women want the nice sweet guy, but you should never let a female walk all over you. Women want a guy who can take control but at the same time give in too. You will find the right girl for you and you know it, it's just that the bad boy thing only lasts so long then we grow out of it. But not every girl wants the bad boy i never did and i wound up with a great guy. so keep looking and don't go for the girls that want the bad guy. You seem like a sweetheart, stay that way, I can't see why any girl wouldn't be lucky to have you.
sweetie
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2007): not all women like bad boys if a girl or women doesn't like you for how faithful for who you are then they don't deserve you as a boyfriend i like ur question add me to ur friends and message me at my mailbox have a nice day/
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