A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've been Internet dating for approximately a year now and have dated four men five to 20 times during that time period. All four lied a great deal, often about silly, everyday things. My ex also lied a great deal. Why do men feel the need to lie so much? Not once have I ever flew off the handle or lost it when told the truth, even when it was painful. I appreciae a sincere conversation and honest but sensitive communication. But I have ended all four relationships when a lie of particular substance was accidentally uncovered.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAll valid thoughts, but Tommy's answer rings some bells. One guy did tell me that if he had told me the truth, I would not have gone out with him. Another said he was afraid if he had told me the truth (about a situation 6 weeks into dating), I would have left, which I did when I found out he had lied (this was not a small white lie.) I didn't understand these explanations and thought they were excuses for bad behavior.I do believe in communicating early on what things I can accept, what things I can put up with, and what things I cannot accept. I do this so that these men can make a decision whether or not to continue pursuing a relationship. The lying always involves situations that fall within the range of the things I cannot accept.One of these guys said I was much too rational and that the thinking got in the way. This sounds like an excuse to me.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): I can honestly say that some blokes lie, but not all. I had an ex in the past who lied constantly. When we got divorced i discovered that he had had three affairs during the marriage. Some blokes lie because the truth is so bloody boring in their lives. Other blokes do it because they have always done it. My bloke has never lied to me (that i know of), so they cannot all be tarred with the same brush. But i think this internet stuff is very dodgy to start with. They are going to lie, because how will you be able to check up on it? Just be careful and stay honest and true yourself.
take care
xx
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (15 October 2007):
 No, not all men lie.
I have to ask on what criteria do you choose your dates? Do you present yourself as someone that will handle the truth well? When a couple of people lie to you, that is on them. WHen it seems like everyone is lying to you, you have to consider that you might be projection an image of a person that does not handle the truth well.
-Frank B Kermit
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (15 October 2007):
They lie to make a better impression on you. They think that lying is the only way to get to date you. Would you have dated them if they had been upfront? Lying is not restricted to males.
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