A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i've dated a few guys in the last two months, one after the other and none of them ended up anywhere. i understand dating is hard, and obviously not everyone meets the right person. but soon after these guys went on two or so dates with me (which normally are quite good), they seem to lose interest and don't really bother putting effort in the 'chase', or they tell me that all they want from me is sex. it's incredibly frustrating because i'm not the type of girl to 'put out' or fall for a guy just after a few dates, but i feel like that's the only thing guys my age are looking for. am i doing something wrong in this dating thing? how can i hold on to a guy that i like?? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2011): No, you're doing everything right OP. Just don't give up and definitely don't give in to that.
There are plenty of guys who will keep chasing. You might want to have a think about your type though OP and where you are meeting them. Not all guys your age are like that and if you seem to be only dating those guys then you may want to have a think about what it is that you like about those guys and why you're attracted to them. You could just like that kind of guy or you could be unlucky.
Just keep being you and keep making them work.
You can't "hold onto" a guy who's only interested in sex OP, once you meet a nice guy who's not only interested in that then there'll be no need.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2011): The truth is a lot of guys are only after sex at any age. Young women have a tendency to use that excuse about younger guys to justify dating older men. If you wanna find the right guys then you have to change how you pick them. The one thing that every guy you've dated has in common is . . . that you chose to date him.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 May 2011):
 No rest assure that you are doing nothing wrong. Not all guys are out looking for sex believe me there are decent men out there, so hold out for them and believe me they will appreciate you more for it when they come along. Yes it is true that a lot of young guys are not interested in meeting girls and getting to know them, they are young and only want there leg over. But dont lose hope as there are plenty of decend young men out there. Also dont make yourself easy what you are doing is right, it is respecting yourself.
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A
female
reader, Orbiter  +, writes (5 May 2011):
At your age, yes quite a few guys are after sex. Still it is possible to find someone who wants a relationship too.
Out of interest where are you meeting these guys? Generally pubs/clubs or online dating sites aren't great places to find men and you're more likely to find one who is just after sex. Where you work, or go to college/uni is usually best. Maybe you could try talking to them, getting to know them more casually as friends and see if you have anything in common before jumping into going on dates.
It could also be just bad luck that you haven't met the right guy, as you said it's only been 2 months. If you meet the right person you won't have to try to hold onto him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2011): those guys are immature and disrespectful if u ask me. Thats great youre not easy and you have standards I admire that. Try not to make men chase, ive done it, and its exhausting and so when I got the girl I was like "ahh i finally got her now i can be lazy".. cause i put so much effort into chasing, when our relationship started it lost spark quick. Keep going on dates, avoid games, and keep being genuine with men. Youll find the right one. Good luck doll.
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