A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I got divorced 2 years ago, I wanted it and my ex didn't. He absolutely did nothing but just crying for 1 year. I couldn't take his family making decisions for us any more. He is 49 I am 34. It's been 2 years now and I feel extremely guilty . I think, '' ok you wasted 10 best years of your life, always feeling lonely and neglected, you have a beautiful child you should just let it go of the past relationship''. Divorce wasn't a wise decision, life was ok, so why did I put myself through so much pain? I am seeing someone LDR for a year now. He is the same age and I knew him from the past. He is amazing and has proven that he really loves me but my feelings is not just there. The pain is so raw. He recently has started pushing me to get married ,when he makes plans and explain how he loves to take care of me and wants to have a child with me it just feels so unrealistic to me. My feeling is not there yet. I can't come back with my ex because I know all the emptines will comes back and hit me. The relationship with his family is ruined because of their unnecessary involvement in my divorce and it turned nasty! So my question here is what is wrong with me? am going to be all right one day? I have an amazing person in my life but I can't make a decision! what should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2015): Thank you So very confused infact my ex doesnt pay me a penny. I didn't ask for anything I just walked away and his family are still bothering me because of the decision that I made. We have a joint custody and one of the reasons that I can't make a decision is because of my ex . I am afraid he make a scandal if I date someone and how my child will react.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2015): Thank you So very confused infact my ex doesnt pay me a penny. I didn't ask for anything I just walked away and his family are still bothering me because of the decision that I made. We have a joint custody and one of the reasons that I can't make a decision is because of my ex . I am afraid he make a scandal if I date someone and how my child will react.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 March 2015):
 He's willing to send you 500,000 to buy a house.
he's trying to buy you... continue to say no since you are not sure. Let him move to where you are (if he's moving of his own choice and not because you asked him) and continue to date him and see what happens.
If your first marriage was arranged and you got out then it sounds like you are doing ok.
make sure all legal documents for child care, custody and support are in place so that your ex can't take the child or stop payments to you for your child.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (29 March 2015):
 If that's the case I would go ahead and marry him and leave the past where it is. I would show him the appreciation that even I was not ready I would prepare for marriage because he deserves happiness. I hope that your son and him gets along because some kids blame the parent for the break up. He's going to think dad is miserable and now you two are happy. That's not fair. Moving on is a decision. It's a bravery to look forward to a brighter future.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2015): I am the op- Thank you janniepeg. I know him very well. He is not a stranger that I met online. He is moving here and I am not moving there. He is amazing not because he just talks,he has proven everything. He is ready to take care of my kid like his own child . I have a joint custody and my kid is a priority in my life. Yes he is too good to be true but he is in fact true. He is insisting to send me half a milion to buy a house for us, no one does that right? before we even marry! he really trusts and loves me. He had supported me and has been there for me all the time. He is an angel and a dream come true. My first marriage was trough arrangement it was ok but the love was always missing. My ex doesn't even come close to this new guy in my life. He is very mad and try to revenge and destroy me and he will use my kid as a weapon to make my life like a hell. Maybe this is another reason that stops me but I can't live alone for my entire life. I am educated attractive and have a nice job so I don't need anyone to support me financially but this guy is something that will never happen again in my life if I lose him. He is ready to giveup his life for me. Why I still can't move on is just killing me!
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (29 March 2015):
The marriage has made you feel jaded. Wasn't your ex husband sweet to you also at the beginning? Just because a man talks about marriage and kids doesn't make him amazing. LDRs are pointless without marriage at the end but he is either taking a huge risk, or he's talking about marriage just so that you could move there. You mentioned you have a beautiful child? He said he would take care of you, but what about your child? Are you seriously going to uproot your child to move to a place away from your family, into an uncertain future? That's why you have problems deciding. Maybe you don't know him too well or haven't met him enough times to develop true feelings. A connection is not built on a promise. You need time, doing things together and interacting. It's understandable that it sounds like a pipe dream or it's too good to be true. There is nothing wrong with you.
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