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anonymous
writes:
I AM 57 AND I HAVE GOT QUITE FRIENDY WITH A WOMAN WHO IS THE SAME AGE AS ME, WE WERE BORN THE SAME YEAR, I WAS BORN IN AUGUST
MY LADY FRIEND WAS BORN IN OCTOBER, SHE IS A DIVORCIE AND UNFORTUNATLY SHE IS A CATHOLIC, WE HAVE BECOME VERY CLOSE, I HAVE KNOWN HER FOR 2 YEARS
I HAVE TAKEN HER OUT A FEW TIMES, JUST THE OTHER DAY AFTER A COUPLE OF GLASSES OF WINE SHE BECAME VERY INTERMATE, CLOSE TO S.E.X. SHE SUDDENLY
STOPPED AND TOLD ME TO GO, THE NEXT MORNING WHEN I WAS AT WORK
I PHONED HER SHE TOLD ME THAT WILL NEVER, NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN,
AND SHE WONT'S THE RELATIONSHIP TO FINISH, SHE TOLD ME IF SHE AS SEX
SHE WOULD BE COMMITING ADULTERY, I SAID TO HER WHO WOULD KNOW,
SHE SAID GOD WILL, I FOUND A WEBSITE , THIS IS WHAT IT SAY'S ,
Roman Catholics on Divorce
Roman Catholics believe that marriage is a sacrament. Once the couple has received the sacrament of marriage, the marriage can never be dissolved or ended in God's eyes. If a Roman Catholic got a civil divorce, the couple would still be married in the church's eyes. A divorced Roman Catholic cannot get remarried whilst their ex-husband or wife is alive. Catholics believe humans simply do not have the authority to divide what God has joined together.
A divorced Catholic is not encouraged to partake in other sacraments (like communion). A Catholic, who does remarry in a registry office or in the church of another denomination whilst their first spouse is still alive, is not allowed to take communion, as they are committing adultery, because in God's eyes they are still married to their first spouse.
BUT I'M NOT CONTIPLATING MARRIAGE,NOT YET, IN MY MINE SHE IS DEPRIVING HERSELF OF LOVE, SHE WILL LIVE THE REST OF HER LIFE LIKE A NUN.
PLEASE HELP,
J
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male
reader, answergiver123  +, writes (21 November 2009):
Well it comes in many aspects, and I'll tell you right now that I am a practicing roman catholic. So if you don't want to read this you don't have to .
As Catholics we believe Marriage or the Sacrament of matrimony is sacred, and all aspects of marriage entail to that sacred title. and Sex happens to be one of these sacred acts that are practiced only by those who have marriaged. its called the conjugation of marriage, where a husband and wife give themselves fully to the other. This is the greatest form of love any human being will ever come to know.
So I agree with your girlfriend. that sex is not something outside of marriage, its something that you treasure and save. Its a gift, one that you should revere and respect, its a demonstration of trust, love and respect and not following all of these inside of the unbreakable bond of marriage can severely hurt someone, so think carefully on this.
God Bless,
Anonymous
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008): tell her that you will leave her if she doesn't at least stick a dildo up your bottom. I am an adamant Catholic, but there are limits to chastity, so prosthetic penises are the way forward.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2008): It is amazing THAT AT YOUR AGE OF 57 still does not comprehend the proper use of your incredible sexual organs. She certainly have taught you a lesson that you still can not comprehend. There is no hope or use to explain you any further. I am glad she is breaking the relationship with you. She does not want to be used by you. She is not a trash. Find your trash somewhere else.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2007): just leave her alone its her religion just forget it
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007): To all of you who've posted - especially to the 37 yr old man who is suffering so much . . . please read the book, "Divorced. Catholic. Now What?" and you will find the answers to all your questions. You will find healing for your lives. Pass it along. There are so many people suffering! You can find it at Lulu.com. You won't be disappointed!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2007): I know how she feels(terrible) My wife left me 6 years ago(I'm 37 now) I live alone and unhappily. I live with the knowledge that I will always be alone and will never have children. I will always love my wife, but I know she will not return.I lost my job a few months ago, and I'm now losing my home, but I really don't care. Sometimes I stop eating/sleeping I'm no longer living I'm just waiting to die. I don't want/deserve heaven I just pray that God wipes me away, like I haven't been. Whats a bigger sin I wonder, suicide or adultery? I haven't been to church in years, haven't confessed my sins hell for me is already here. Leave this woman alone she is in enough pain I'm sure.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2006):
Wow she is luck to be rid of you. And that web site selection seems inaccurate.
If you do think you two can have a relationship base don who is, then move on. But dont plan on browbeating her about her religion.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2006): She must have terrible pain but as Catholic myself can not advise anything more than friendship unless the marriage was enulled encourage her to take her pain to god that is what she needs she need help from people too but not in the way you are suggesting
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male
reader, Alasmar +, writes (21 August 2006):
You said she was unfortunately catholic, so you are not.
The poor lady wants to spend the rest of her life with out committing an adultery etc. if you really love her and wants her, then marry her. Otherwise, live her alone and just go around and find your self some one who will accept this kind of relationship.
However, there is no such girlfriend-boyfriend relationship, there is only spouse and couples who are married in the name of God.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2006): Being divorced does not deny communion, being remarried does. The continuous ignorance of canon law! She is correct though. She in fact cannot and should not be temping nor involving herself in relationships more than plutonic in such context. The ability of interacting in plutonic relationships seems to cultural as self control is almost non-existance in the world.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2005): Swap the genders and think.
A female inernet friend of mine left and divorced a drunken actively homosexual military husband when her only daughter was 4. Five years later she married a very lapsed Catholic in a civil ceremony. That stepfather facilitated the (step-)daughter's travel from the east coast to the west to see her still drunk Dad when she was only 16 but determined. He is now dead but the girl got to see the Dad who abandoned her.
The couple are still together after 20 years and the (step) daughter has just got married. The point:
my internet friend (who has visited me with her husband and lived in my house) has been to Mass every Sunday and holy day for 20 years to the same priest and he has warned her that he will refuse her Holy Communion if she attempts to approach the altar rail: 20 years, 60 times a year, 1200 potential refusals of the sacrament.
The same priest says that all she has to do is persuade her husband of 20 years, the man who helped her bring up a wonderful daughter while her real Dad was drunk, exploring gay bars and 3,000 miles away to marry her again in a Catholic church: they're already married; he's a Catholic atheist and is unwilling to go through a process that even suggests mildly that his wife of 20 years is not his wife (in Catholic cloud-cuckoo land).
Cannot a good priest or bishop help her by offering her the sacrament that she has yearned for in her weekly attendance and more? Say to her, kneel and make a good Act of Contrition and then receive Communion. My cousin, now dead, was a very conservative bishop, but I'm sure he would have done this to relieve her 20-year long distress; she is a simple and unhappy person because of all this.
Is it seriously claimed that she should abstain from (++50 years old sex) until she marries again a man that she has most evidently been married to for more than two decades?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2005): If you respect her & love her respect her belief, then stop thinking with your willy wonker. If you want this friendship keep your pants on. If you don't want to commit I say stay away. If you really want this friendship to bloom, respect her and if you have commitment feelings and she feels the same she can go for an annulment, but for Gods sake man think with your head not with your lust....you can really lose a good friend if at least....
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male
reader, harshbutfair  +, writes (18 April 2005):
 Sometimes you just can't change people. It's sad, but explain the predicament to her and move on.
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