A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm not typically the jealous type. My BF (of 6 months)and I check out others, watch things on t.v, have friend of opposite sex, and no prob I do however seem to have a problem with his ex wife. He hasn't been divorced long so I'm trying to understand that he doesn't want to hurt her feelings but the fact that I haven't met his friends/family was becoming an issue for me. She's close with his family/friends and she is ALWAYS with them, holidays etc.. so he avoids going. I finally met some friends on New Years Eve which was a big breakthrough but now the issue is that he didn't pick up his dog (shared custody) because he thinks it may have got back to her that he introduced me to their mutual friends. Then when we were out, I mentioned it would be convenient just to get the dog and he said that he could drop me off somewhere while he picks the dog up. It's making me insecure and I had alot to drink the other night and it all came out. I feel bad because I said horrible things and regret it but it's really been bothering me that I feel "kept a secret". He got a new 2009 calendar for xmas and put her bday and their anniversary down as "sorry, 10 years" as that is what it would have been in summer. Should it bother me that he does that? Divorced and still recording it? I freaked and made a fool of myself but I was so upset when I saw it.
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anniversary, divorce, ex-wife, his ex, insecure, jealous Reply to this Question
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female
reader, pastfirst  +, writes (6 January 2009):
 Men don't think like women. He spent 10 years with her so she was an important part of his life for a long time.
I understand there is a dog involved but not kids? Perhaps he still thinks of her as a friend but not a lover.
he may be taking time to introduce you to his aquaintences because he's still getting used to the idea of being with someone else.
Don't feel bad about your reaction to his behavior. It's completely understandable. Discuss the situation and ask him how he feels about you. He prbably won't want to commit himself to any declaration of his feelings.
He may just need time. I think you have to accept the situation or move on. He's not yet ready for a serious relationship.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 January 2009):
 I guess you didn't like the answers you got when you posted this the other day.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2009): Both of us happen to be in the same boat here.... Although my boyfriend has been devorced for 2 years now i only met him in may of 2008. He had a wedding photo in his wallet and her contact details under sweetheart, that ripped me to pieces, i had no idea if i was coming or going, i thought i meant the world to him as he would always say i am the most important special princess to him. And yes we have had sex lots of times,i guess thats why i was so hurt. I spoke to him about it and you know what he understands my point respects it and explained to me what was going on. Now you have already 'freaked' out but try and speak to him in a much husher tone tell him how you feel and ask him how does he feel about it.... Communication plays a big role in relationships....
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