A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Ok Here we go I will try this .I am a 43 yr old woman who has been married for 28 yrs Always with my husband until he ask for a divorce in feb. of 2008 and then he moved out on his own.I missed him badly but come to realize he wasnt coming back home so i learned to deal with it .Here is is 2010 and he still hasnt filed for the divorce he wanted so bad .We are still great friends and i miss him still but no longer want him back due to things he has done as far as partying and such . I really need to start living and stop holding on to my past is there anyone out there that can give me any suggestions ? I really dont know how to be anything but a momma and a wife my oldest child is 25 my middle one is 22 and my baby is 12 they are my life but I cant always depend on them to be around I know they have their own lives to live and when i am alone All I can do is think about my past .I am not a party girl or a bar girl so always stay home doing pretty much nothing . I really need some suggestions here .I did tell my husband i wanted the divorce done NOW .
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female
reader, moonchild333  +, writes (11 May 2010):
I can really understand what you are going through. Realize that there are others out there too going through divorces after many years of marriage just like you. I too just got divorced last week after 19 years of marriage and am 52 years old. I have 3 teenagers who are off to college next year and not only will have to adjust to moving out of my beautiful home, being alone but also having my 3 girls move out too. I do not have all the answers, but do know, that no person can make you happy. You can decide to be happy. I know it will be a huge adjustment, but also know there are so many wonderful things out there one can do, ie: take a course at the community college at night, volunteer, join a book club or a craft club, etc. Take up a sport and join a league, the list goes on and on. I have not done any of these things yet either, but as soon as my house is sold and I get a place of my own, I will take the time to do an inventory of what I like and do not like. If you are not sure, just pick up a course catalog and pick a few fun continuing education classes and just try a few out. You will meet people like you that are going through the same thing. You are not alone and are stronger than you know. Every day just say you will do one new thing you did not do the day before even if it is something very small like sign up for a community or church project or visit an elderly person down the street you know would love the company. Good luck!
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (30 April 2010):
 Enjoy yourselves, wow, in January I spent two weeks travelling with my daughter (she is older than yours though)and what a wonderful experience, we had so much fun, and I am sure you will too.
Good luck with it all, I am sure that once you take the first step then next 5 will be easier, they following 50 even easier still,.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOK we are going to take our first vacation since he left in June going to ill. then the to NC for some much needed mother and daughter time . I am trying to get my life back in order not that it has been totally bad .I just havent stepped out and tried to enjoy life since he left . I am now recovering from a car wreck and on light duty at work in hospice work . So come June the 16th Im Out Of Here For 2 much needed weeks with my 12 yr old daughter. Thank you All for your comments and suggestions .
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do work for hospice And as for taking a trip me and my little girl is taking two weeks in JUNE cant wait havent been on a vacation since my husband left me . He has took my little girl several times to louisiana but i havent took her anywheres so we are so looking forward to it.
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (29 April 2010):
 I'm sorry to hear that you feel bad about your situation, but really it is a golden opportunity for you to strike out in a new direction.
It seems like you are asking us for permission to get on with this new chapter in your life. I wonder if you have spent your entire past life "asking for permission" from others and now are a bit lost because you no longer have to ask for permission.
Give yourself permission to explore and don't let the past hold you back! Good luck and take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2010): I know that you have a 12 year old but I think that travelling is the best way to meet people (can you leave him with the 25 year old for short trips away). There is something about being on holiday that just makes people a little carefree! Definitely I agree with the writer below, get involved in things! You will maximise your exposure! But I find that everytime I go away, I meet people... And it does wonders for the self esteem then when you feel good on the inside...it shows on the outside! Get out there and make the most of your life! Your ex...well its his loss! xx
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (29 April 2010):
Been there got the T Shirt .....
Do some adult ed short courses, listening skills, first aid, how to draw with left side of the brain, pottery, cake decorating, anything that will get you mixing and meeting people.
Volunteer, train for a help line, listen to little kids reading at school, visiting a senior centre, walking dogs for a dog home, anything where you will be mixing and greeting with people
Join a club, book club, pottery club, patchworking group, wine appreciation club, anything you know the drill. It's unlikely you will be getting any paid employment from any of these, so consider upping your skills, computer courses, retail courses, budgeting, basic book keeping, web design, you are still very young, and have at least another 40 years of good living to go, if you dont want a full time job but would like a few hours work find out what services your local govt offers people. You may be able to get a few hours cleaning houses for a church organisation or simular for seniors or disabled people. Ive done that a few times while my kids were still at school.
Good luck with the newest chapter in your life, enjoy it and have fun!
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