A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my lovely girlfriend for 2 year now.We recently began having sex, both our first times.I am just above average in penis length according to many quoted sites. However she has made a few comments that have seriously dented my confidence now on what she really thinks. She says she will be joking, but she has said that if I was longer I would be able to do doggy style better to penetrate deeper. She has also commented that she was expecting something bigger when she first saw my penis. I am also uncircumcised and she had said before that having a snip would make me look neater.I have told her that these comments, or jokes, are making me insecure, she has said it was just a joke and that I am ideal for her, but why say those things as a joke?I wouldn't dare make a joke about her as subconsciously, things like that stick in the mind.Am I being wrong and paranoid?
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female
reader, mistique  +, writes (22 May 2013):
she should not hurt you with these kind of nasty comments, she should love u exactly the way u are. well u have to pour your heart out, tell her u dont like her comments and she should stop treating u like this
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (22 May 2013):
Time to trade up. She's not joking. And while she has the right to want what she wants, every person on earth knows how sensitive men are about their penis size. She's just a bit$h.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2013): Simple solution OP.
Sit her down and talk to her in terms she'll understand. If I were you I'd point out all these comments and ask her how she'd feel if I made snide remarks about her in the same way.
How would she feel if you told her that her labia looked like two undercooked rashers or a murdered eel and her vagina would be neater if she had the snip. Ask her how she'd feel if your answer to her saying if your penis was bigger doggy would be deeper was to say if her ass wasn't so fat then that too would allow you to go deeper. Or that when you saw her boobs out of her bra for the first time you expected them to be more pert, less veiny and droopy etc.
Tell her you too don't mean any of those things but would she really like to hear them even as a supposed joke?
OP just tell her a man's penis is like a woman's weight. You don't comment on it unless you want to compliment it. Then tell her if you're enough for her then she'll stop making snide remarks that are affecting your confidence.
OP don't be afraid to say those things to her, this is not tit for tat, I mean if her jokes are funny to her then she can't complain when you highlight the things she wouldn't like to hear.
Just make it clear to her that you don't talk about a guy's penis in any other way than to say you love it and it's delicious etc. The same as we guys don't talk about weight other than to say "you're not fat, you're beautiful" if she won't stop knowing how it's affecting you then she's not the lovely woman you think she is.
Plus where the fuck did she get the circumcision thing from? Very few men in the UK have had the snip.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 May 2013):
 Lovely girlfriend you call her? She's not only rude, she's also right out mean and cruel.
You'd look "neater" if you got a cut? You know what, why don't you tell her to go out and find herself a "neat" penis then if she doesn't like yours?
Putting you down like this, I don't really understand what you see in her or why you're with her. I don't believe for a second that this is the only area where she's been putting you down, it's just that this is a particularly sensitive area. And this time you're reacting. But are you sure she hasn't been showing this rudeness, and being mean, bullying you, at other times as well? It is unusual for a bully to only start bullying after two years and only to be picking at one particular area.
For the doggy style comment.. well, that one could have been innocent, as a more matter of fact-statement. It depends on the way she said it and her tone of voice. It could have been belittling, but it could also have been just a matter of fact statement. But the comments about expecting something bigger, and about how you'd look neater if you were circumcised.. well that's right out there with completely unacceptable.
These comments are not jokes. They're not meant as jokes. They're not funny. You need to stand your ground and not let her bully you or treat you this way. I mean you even spoke to her about how these comments made you feel, and all she did was ridicule your feelings. She didn't even take you seriously. Maybe her social intelligence isn't very high, so she doesn't understand what is a joke and what isn't? Is she autistic? If not, then there's no excuse, these comments need to end and she needs to apologize and start finding ways to build UP your self esteem, as opposed to making a joke at your expense.
Take this seriously. You're not in the wrong, nor are you being paranoid. You need to take a stance and not accept this. What she is saying is right out cruel and mean.
By the way, if her ass was smaller, doggy style might be perfectly possible. But you didn't tell her that, because you know it's a hurtful comment. And I've had doggy style with men who were shorter than average, so I know it can be done and has nothing to do with your size. It's got to do with the two of you combined, some positions just work and others don't. But that doesn't mean it's your penis that isn't long enough, not any more than it means her vagina isn't tight enough, or her ass isn't small enough, or her legs aren't long enough. Don't sink to her level, but don't for a moment think there's anything wrong with your penis. She needs to watch what she says and start treating you with a bit more respect.
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A
male
reader, human_male  +, writes (22 May 2013):
 You weren't wrong. And I don't think she was joking. And I think she was insensitive and stupid to say those things. It's not like you can change the size of your penis is it.
The question is has she stopped or does she keep saying those things? If she's stopped just let it go. If she keeps doing it don't tell her it's making you insecure and you wish she'd stop. Tell her in no uncertain terms that she is out of line! You have a right to be angry. Don't be afraid to show her.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (22 May 2013):
 She's testing you...and she doesnt respect your mandood.she just sees you as the boy she's been dating for like forever.
and shes not joking she means what she says...
you need another GF
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