A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Wow, okay I need help. I found a note written to my sister from her friend. It was saying how my sister was lucky she wasn't positive and the friend was. And how she wasnt gonna get an abortion. Well, now I know my sisters had sex and for so long she said she wanted a promise ring. I knew I was right about her all these years. Now I just think of her as a total skank and hate her. Shes done so much other crap thats bad too and all I can think is wow, what a fantastic sister you are setting an example for me. What im saying, is how do I not flip out at her and crap and have her know that I know, and what am I supposed to do? Ugh.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (28 May 2010):
 I know it's tough. It sounds like your sister was someone you looked up to, and now it seems as though she has let you down. That's going to happen in your life by a lot of people who you look up.
While it may feel like the natural response to hate your sister and tear into her for being so "weak" and going back on her resolve to stay pure sexually, it would be more healthy for you to turn that energy and anger towards helping YOU stay pure and strong.
A lot of times, the qualities and traits we admire, idolize, and look up to in someone reflect the qualities we value in ourselves. When someone who we thought was strong falters, it scares us and makes us feel like if the strongest of us can be weak, what does that mean for us?
You have to learn to rely on no one else's strength than your own. Though 5,000 other people become weak and stumble on their principles, you won't. Have compassion for your sister - she's beating herself up far harder than you can ever do to her. You are responsible for yourself. Your loathing for what she's done is also your loathing for the possibility of you doing the same thing.
Hopefully, if you ever stumble in any aspect in your life, I hope people in your life will also show you kindness and mercy.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2010): I don't think you can blame her for having sex and everything that's going on in her private life when you blow it all out of proportion like this!! She doesn't owe being a
role model to you, you clearly have what you think is "right" in your head so just follow that.
And your sister isn't a "skank" she is a teenager, you're too young to understand urges or something, wait till your her age and I'm sure you won't be any different
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