A
female
age
41-50,
*ussiesally
writes:I am in a relationship with a very, very nice man who is considerate, patient and who I know loves me deeply. I honestly could not say a bad thing about him and he has been nicer to me than any other past boyfriends. When we first got together about 18 months ago, I was at a really happy time in my life. I was travelling and I felt really happy and comfortable in who I was. I had come out of a relationship a year before meeting him that absolutely broke my heart and once I had gotten over that I had a few lovers and was having a great time. I had not planned on meeting anyone for anything more than fun and I really did not want a relationship, however when I met him I was so attracted to him- he was so nice to me and we had a very passionate first 6 months together. I am now not happy and I have realised that we have differences in our lives and I have been feeling somewhat like this for about the last 6 months. I still love him and we get along great and I feel like he is a best friend, however I am not physically attracted to him anymore and my sex drive has gone towards him and I am usually a very sexual person. I feel that I am not being true to myself by staying with him when I am not completely happy- I want to keep on travelling, however he is happy to stay put . I resent him sometimes, because I do the majority of our house work and I dont like that I have become a nagging girlfriend. Im very confused as to what to do as I know that I do love him and that he treats me so well and I do like the security and comfort in that, but I know I am not 110% happy and I dont know if I should leave, stay and try and do something (I dont know what) to get that initial passionate love that I felt back or do I go off and travel for a bit and do the long distance thing? I do know that the absolute last thing I want to do is hurt him. I really thank anyone in advance who may answer.
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best friend, long distance, sex drive Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010): I think not being honest with him is hurting him. You have been hurt of course so you know how it feels - but living a lie is a waste of both your lives. If you love him set yourselves free. Go travelling and be long distance - it might be just what you both need to review your relationship and decide one way or another.
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