A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Feel a bit silly asking this at my age - 43 - but I started seeing a new man about a month ago. Although we've only been out three times he has been texting me a lot in between and so it feels like we've been out more. He is in the process of getting a divorce and his children (older teenagers) have all chosen to live with him. I've been on my own years now, my last relationship ended 3 years ago. The attraction was instant. We have a lot in common, work in similar fields and there is also a physical attraction too. We slept together on the second date - maybe a bit too soon but he was lovely about it and we didn't do it on the third date as he wasn't able to stay over and he said he didn't want me to get the idea it was just about the sex. He holds my hand a lot, and is generally a lovely man.Then I did what I think may have been a silly thing. We were talking about what we do when we get stressed (his divorce has been stressing him out a bit) and he said he plays the piano - loudly. I'm a writer and I said that I read poetry. We talked about it for a while. Nothing unusual about that, but then while he was at the loo I popped a copy of one of my favourite poems in the top pocket of his jacket. I'd shared it with a class earlier in the week and just happened to have a photocopy on the table. When he got home that night, he sent me a lovely text, and I told him to look in his top pocket, and that the poem was my version of 'paying the piano really loudly' and that it had helped me through some tough times. He didn't respond but it was late so I thought nothing of it. That was two days ago. Today I sent him an innocuous text saying 'lovely day' and nothing more. No response and that was five hours ago. I now realise he may have misconstrued this as some sort of love poem when really it was just like recommending a book or him sharing a piece of music he really likes. Have I scared him off? How can I salvage this? Sometimes I wish text messaging had never been invented!?!
View related questions:
divorce, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your responses - really helpful and reassuring. It was particularly good to get a male perspective - thanks! I'll give it another few days and if I hear nothing I'll ring him. To the last woman who wondered what the poem was, it was a poem called Wild Geese by Mary Oliver. It's about not being too hard on yourself, and about there being a big world out there waiting for you (at least, that's my interpretation!). Here's a link: http://www.english.illinois.edu/Maps/poets/m_r/oliver/online_poems.htm Thanks!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): No, I certainly don't think a thing like that would scare him off, certainly, I would imagine, quite the contrary - provided he is genuine. What I mean by that is just maybe, the reality of your relationship suddenly hit home and could be he isn't ready to commit at this point. Definitely not the poem in itself though.
...............................
A
female
reader, imcurioustoo  +, writes (13 June 2009):
Well first of all my mom is divorced too .. And every chance she gets for a date I urge her to take it bcuz I want her to be happy .. Explain to this guy you were only showing him how you releive stress not secretly informing him of your feelings .. Your both adults and will laugh it off later .. Have confidence .. You've got this
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): Would help if we knew what the poem was or at least what it was about...
...............................
|
