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Did she use me to make my friend jealous?

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Question - (26 February 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 4 March 2011)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Did a girl I fell in love with use me to make my friend jealous and to see if he liked her? And when they got it together why did she keep rubbing it in my face?

I would be very grateful if people to tell me what they think she was doing. Did I miss read her or was she using me? The problem is I want to move on but I’m still hurt in love with how I thought she was.

It all happened a few years ago, I had just moved to London to start a university course and was at the time recovering from major surgery, which left me with a colostomy. I was not looking fro a relationship as I was just starting to accept having a colostomy. When I started the course I met a lady how seem nice over time she started to be very tactile with me touching me and liked to sit next to me and she also laughed a lot at things I said. Slowly over time I fell in love with her, by this time she new of my medical condition. I decided to pluck up the courage to ask her out so I could tell her how I felt. I think she new I liked her as a mutual friend told me later on. She said she was having to do work on her dissertation o I thought ok, I tried this a couple of time and the same thing was said. The odd thing was if she wanted to be just friends I thought she would have gone out and told me she want to be just friends or stopped the tactile giggly behaver around me. I thought she was playing hard to get. Eventual she said yes but in the one of her voice it sounded like a plan had gone wrong, later that night accidentally her friend I was walking home drunkenly mentioned she like my now ex friend. He asked me a while before I f there was any women I liked and I said yes and told him, he said there was no one he liked. But strangely over time he started acting funny like sulking around me. I decided after hearing what the drunken friend said the best thing to do was to have no more contact with the girl I loved so I’d be able to concentrate on my course. This was fine she left me alone for awhile but then she started trying to sit next to me join in my conversation and giggling and the tactile behaviour, by this time she new I loved her and was hurt knowing how she felt about my friend. I soon realised she had started dating my friend how acted funny around me before and said he did not like anyone I think he did and she used me to make him jealous. By this time as they were together he was acting like and idiot and trying to be really friendly with me and she was acting flirty, the thing is I’d hated the fact the new I did not want to have anything to do with them but the seem to lovely telling me about the favourite places the went out like they mentioned they hand a favourite jazz bare noodle bar and had been to Venice. I want to get cross but we all share some friend so I didn’t. Strangely when she saw me at an event chatting to mystery girls she looked really pissed off then later on when I was alone on a different day looking at a gallery she accidentally was at with her boyfriend she seemed to poses no consideration to my feeling and ran up to me laughing and being tactile. Eventually I managed to get rid of her when the course finished as I left London. I would really appreciate if people could tell me what you think she was doing thanks

View related questions: drunk, fell in love, flirt, jealous, move on, university

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A male reader, Loten United States +, writes (4 March 2011):

Sad story! What you should have done was

beating the good Jesus out of em! Both!

How could you let anyone do that to you?!?!

Seriously! Love is not blind, love is your

own stupidity! Wake up! We don't need the

devil, humans make evil just fine on their

own!!! That bitch you loved, turned love

In to a evil plan like she was george bush!

WHAT!!!!!!

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A female reader, CaliMoore United Kingdom +, writes (1 March 2010):

CaliMoore agony auntIt sounds to me like you know exactly what she did, she played you. She used you to get to your friend. But it also sounds to me like your friend played a bigger part in it than it sounds, your friend must have either played hard to get with her or turned her down to begin with, in order for her to have feelings for him, and want to make him jealous when he rejected her.

She was out of order to pretend to like you just to get to your friend (the one she really liked), it was also out of order for your friend to not tell you the truth about his past with her, and how he felt about her as you too were friends.

Let your so called 'friend' know how you feel, how it was wrong of him to let a female come between you, how he should of told you the truth. - Once this is all out of your system, i say cut contact with both of them, neither of them are really friends, who are supposed to look out for you and be there for you, go out and find yourself some real friends who will treat you better, like you deserve.

Good luck, let me know how you get on :) i hope this helped x

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