A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hello I have met a girl which I liked so much from a "serious online website for men and women looking for merraige".the first meeting between us was fantastic !she appreciated me coming to her town so much and liked me so much !However because i had to leave the country for a month and a half, we decided to continue talking by phone and chat till we meet again many times before we decide to merry or so..Two issues came up, first: that she was planning before we meet to go from Florida, where we live, to virginia for a 5 days break to a male old friend to relax there, and she was planning, before she met me, to see if there is a good job there she can work in with another guy's company. But after I met her she told me that I changed her completely and she decided not to work there, yet she still going to virginia next wednesday for the break !! Personally I dont like the idea her to go alone to meet another guy there to show her the siteseeing.The Other serious issue is that: last night I called her and it was before 11:00 pm she answered quickly the phone telling me: this is really really bad time, we got to talk and ill ttyl ! i said ok, I got worried and tried to call her back plenty times till she answered and she was driving her car, in the begining she refused to tell where she came from but then after i insisted and because she is honest she told me she came from her Ex and she was very mad at him thats why she went there to discuss issues with him!.. she told me before she dont want him any more but I dont know If i shud consider her cheated on me or not since she met them? she told me she will not see him again and thats what she wrote to me :"thank you for all your advice i know it looks like I'm not paying attention to anything ur telling me but i am...certain situations have to be handled a certain way and this is a battle with me and mensur (her ex) even now its crazy alot of this is my fault i could simply never pick up but i do because i'm stupid sometimes anyway I feel really bad i feel like i'm draging u into my issues and I dont want to do that...I really like you...no doubt..but right now i'm not sure i can even talk to u until i get certain things take care of..I dont want to be mean and just disappear my phone is going off tomorrow and i wont be online i'm gonna focus on school and work and myself, I just feel bad ur such a sweet and extremely caring guy and I appreciate everything..but right now i'm overwhelmed with alot of things and the last thing i want to do is drag someone else into this.of course i told her that i can take care of him and tell him she is getting merried soon ..and he shud stop but apparently he has a big influence on her.My question: shell i consider her that she cheated on me ? and what is the best and healthiest thing to do for me and for her in order to make our relationship works out and be happy in the future ? giving that i told her im going to meet her parents so soon and she was pleased.
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female
reader, deee999  +, writes (17 October 2007):
HiI don't understand why you would meet someone and want to get married so quickly. I don't know if she cheated on you, but I would say that there is no reason why she can't go and see a male friend or her ex just to talk to them. I think you need to pay more attention to your own relationship with her. It seems to me that you don't know her well enough to be thinking about settling down with her. If you knew her well enough, you would have built up trust between you and you would not be thinking these things.Good luck, I hope it works out
A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (15 October 2007):
Yes, I would consider her a manipulative cheater with too little love for marriage to you.
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