A
male
age
51-59,
*KR
writes:Any opinions on the following:I am just a average 34 y/o guy. I have only had one serious relationship which lasted about 8 years (I have known her however since I was 18 - first 5 just friends. She then broke up and we just split up. (To be fair to her - I wasn't realy there for her - i had a dangerous, high-stress job - away from home most of the time). I can however say I did love her alot. I left South Africa for London, been here 3 years. In this time I have met a few nice girls who did show interest, but I have never let one come close in the past 4 years. I am very independent and can be just as big a loner as I am an extrovert - but dont know....simply the way I am ? or did the break-up f*** with my head. I just dont really connect - sexually yes, romantically - dead as the dodo. But would like to meet someone again. Anyone else experienced this ?
View related questions:
broke up, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (22 February 2007):
 Hi
I haven’t experienced any of that, but I know that after a break-up I have always felt disoriented and lost hope in love, but the feeling last for few weeks because during that time for me its moping time full of doubts, regrets and everything that puts me down. But after a month I am back ready for anything forgiven myself for choosing a wrong man and believing its never late to find love. I think this is the type of enthusiasm you need to open your heart to someone.
Connecting only sexually is easy because no emotions are connected to it because of the resentment you are feeling after loosing the woman you ones loved. Romantic connection is attached to our emotions and I think you blocked that mentally maybe you are afraid that if you open your heart again you will end up being hurt again. Life is about taking risks and relationships don’t make it easier either. Start by just simple dates, build-up friendship and later on you will be able to judge for yourself if the lady is worth pursuing or stay friends. You know what they say “friends can be lovers” and good one too just open your heart to these possibilities of loving again, and you will be surprised how romantic you can be.
Jovial
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (21 February 2007):
 You really liked this girl, she was like your first love, you spent a long time together even although a lot of the time you worked away but there was obviously a deep connection. Now you're older and more mature, you can see where it went wrong. I think you're just wary about getting involved again. I get the impression when you split up that it did hit you more than you're letting on, so much in fact that you moved countries to get away and start afresh.
You connect sexually because it's just a form of release for you but there may be still some "sorting out" going on in your head re the romantic side of you. You can't be romantic because you're not "involved" or you haven't quite "connected" the way you did with your ex. I think you're still trying to find yourself and that's okay...
http://www.wikihow.com/Find-Yourself
You will meet someone when the time is right, there's still a lot of emotions going on in your head. You ARE worthy of loving someone and you ARE worthy to be loved back in return. You will meet the right person in time, I promise you. Close the door on your past and only THEN will another one open for you.
I wish you all the very best in your search...
Eve
...............................
|
