A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: dear cupids,i am a survivor of an abusive relation ship, 8 month after the break up i met some one, we had so much fun, but due to religious issues we did not stay together as friends and we agreed on staying friends, 1 month after the agreement my friend kissed me on my forehead, even though such an act was discussed before and he knows that i would never allow such a thing to occur, due to my religion, and he "said" he totally understands and that he respects me and my choices, he "said" exactly what could be said, but when it came to the real deal he kissed me, when he acted his "acts" spoke louder than the promises and respect speaks he gave me.now this is not the part that hurt me, i understand that due to the cultural differences his act might be as spontaneous as he said, i totally believed him when he said that he meant nothing from it, he told me not to relate his actions with my ex.the weird part is that he stopped talking to me after it, no texts no nothing, if i don't talk to him he wouldn't, knowing that we were really close.i guess i hated that he left most because my ex contacted me due to business related stuff and i needed to talk to my friend and he wasn't here.i think he is just like my ex, the only difference being that at the first sign of doing what i don't want to be done i said no. this time i stood up for my self and he didn't like that so he just left because he knows he would never have more than hugs from me.am i thinking right? am i being unfair? can he be upset from me because i don't trust him and that's why he is not talking to me? should i apologize?thank you for any reply in advance
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female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (1 February 2016):
You say that your ex was abusive and you are comparing him to your ex because he kissed you on the forehead? Really?
Okay I get that it is against your religion, and yes he did do wrong when he kissed you, but still I would not go as far as calling it abusive.
My guess here is that he knows he has done wrong, he knows he has stepped over your boundaries. I think he likes you more than a friend, and you cannot offer him a relationship, so now I think he has taken a back seat and avoiding you, he could also be embarrassed for what he has done.
Why don't you call him and ask him what is wrong? My guess is that there are stronger feelings here than friendship, and if I am correct well then it would be difficult for him to be a friend when he wants more.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 February 2016):
I suggest that maybe you try and make female friends, less room for anyone to overstep boundaries.
He should have kept his lips to himself - though there is nothing sexual in a kiss on the forehead, that is what a parent do to a kid.
Could it be he wanted more? Who is to say. Maybe he doesn't know how to deal with the issues so he rather drop the friendship, it happens.
Not much you can do but accept it and move on yourself.
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