A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear friends,I'm so confused!My exbf and I broke up over one year ago. Since then, we mantained a rather friendly relationship, talking twice a month or so. It was a long distance relationship, so we always thought one of the reasons it didn't work out was because of the distance.He started dating another girl and i'm going out with another boy.This weekend, I had some business in the city where he lives and we ended up meeting for a coffe.He was nice and friendly and in the end, he kissed me. Well, I know he is in a serious relationship, and i am too seeing someone, so I stoped him. Told him it wasn't right, and that i had never done this to him, so it wasn't fair to either one of the people we are seeing.But he just said "it happened" and kissed me again, but this time, i turned my head.later that night, he sent me a text, saying that he missed my kiss... he didn't seem at all confused! he even went out with his girlfriend like nothing had happened.yesterday, i went out with the boy i'm seeing and i felt so bad... he's a nice guy and could be my boyfriend some day...today, i sent and e-mail to my ex, asking what had happened and what should we do about it... and he said he wants to see me, to find out what he really feels. But we won't see each other so soon... i have no reason to go back to his city, nor has he to come to mine.i don't know... i know I never really got totally over him... and i'm scared that he's just using me to feel good about himself... like, "i have a girlfriend and my ex still loves me".but at the same time, i can't describe how intense the situation was... when he touched me, I felt like a lightning ran through my body...I don't know that to do... and I keep asking myself if he really likes me and is as confused as I am, or if he is a cheater and did this to me when we were together and now just want to have some fun and let me go...
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broke up, long distance, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Aunty Audrey  +, writes (17 October 2012):
 I think he wants what he can't have. He is not available to you right now and you are not available to him.
I think he was asserting some proprietory rights that he thinks he still has over you.
If he was serious he would break up with his current partner, lay all his cards on the table and ask you for a chance. And if his arguments held sway with you then you would have a long hard think about why you broke up and if you still want to give it a chance you would say good bye to the guy you are interested in now and who could become your boyfriend.
I think your ex was just playing with you, to see how much of a reaction he could get out of you.
One swallow does not make a summer and one kiss does not mean genuine lifetime commitment, happiness and fidelity.
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