A
female
age
30-35,
*riaz
writes:met a guy at the gym that I'm interested in. We talk occasionally, but not a lot. Recently I started a new part time job in an area he also happens to work in. That area is very congested during rush hour and I don't want to fight traffic on my way home, so I started going to the gym near my workplace instead of my home gym. At our home gym, We started talking about how awful traffic is when we get off work, and I told him im going to they gym near my workplace, and casually told him that he's welcome to join me after work if he wants to. He said he prefers going to our home gym, so he doesn't want to go to that other gym, which is not a problem.Now that I think about it, I'm wondering if it sounded like I unintentionally asked him out. Yes, I'm interested in him but I said it casually since we both work over there. I don't want him to think I asked him out and start acting weird with me. Thoughts?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2018): You didn't do anything wrong.You were just bring friendly and social. And even if you were asking him to join you, so what? It's okay. No harm done. It's not like you asked him out to dinner. You both share a gym and work in close proximity to it. Your suggestion was appropriate.At this point though I would leave it in the past. Pretend it never happened and move forward.If you see him, you can chat and be friendly, because that's the kind of person you are, but I would keep it there.If he really liked you, he would find a way to restart that conversation to see if he can take it outside the gym.Don't push anything. Just do your own thing. Be happy and positive. If it's meant to happen, it will in its own time. If not, you've got a gym buddy or someone to chat with.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2018): Well, the way I see it, you accidentally on purpose asked him to join you at the other gym. You didn't ask him for a date. There's a difference. He didn't ask for your number, so maybe he didn't take it to mean anything accept an invitation as a workout-partner.
You've been chatting and warming-up to each other. You made a friendly overture; although indirect, he got the point.
Hon, once it flows off the tongue and through the lips, it's out there! No harm no foul. Let it go! You're a big girl now.
I wouldn't give-up on going back to the gym you usually go to just yet. You hardly know him. Why should he go through any inconvenience, when it wasn't really asking for date?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 February 2018):
 It's impossible to know his thoughts. And you can't "take back" what you said, so why keep thinking and fretting about it?
You asked him if he wanted to join you at the "new" gym and he declined. The BIGGER issue you make of this, the more awkward it is going to be.
Next time you see him don't mention it, just continue talking as you did before. IF he CHOOSES to be awkward that is on him, right?
You made NO faux pas here. So stop beating yourself up and DO NOT apologize or try and EXPLAIN what you really meant to him... THAT will only make him think about it as being weird.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2018): Strange one this one. It depends entirely on him- how one man would interpret what you said could be totally different from another. I myself am a straight, clear cut kind of person- if you told me you were in the area and I was welcome to join you, I'd have taken it as that- a general, open invitation.Now, if I was interested in you, I'd have thought 'ah- maybe this could be a way to try and take it somehwere else, out of the gym.' But that's me. Who knows what he thinks of you?I know some guys would immediately tell their friends that a girl from the gym asked him out, so confident in themselves they are. Fact of the matter is, he didn't seem offended, answered in similar way to which he was asked. But knowing exactly what he thought is impossible. I really wouldn't dwell on it- mostly because if you start looking for things wrong in your friendship, you'll find them.Thing is, you say you're interested, what would be the problem if he did think you were asking him out? In fact, why didn't you?!?
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